Young Writers Society

Here's just a random Naruto script I made. Enjoy. Don't laugh... too hard. Sorry, its really not actually funny. But enjoy!

Rock Lee~ A real ladies man

Characters
Rock Lee~ DUR
Maito Gai
Uzumaki Naruto
Hyuga Neji
Inuzuka Kiba
Nara Shikamaru
Aburame shino
Akimichi Chouji
Ten Ten
Hyuga Hinata
Haruno Sakura
Yamanaka Ino
Me~ I’s the narrator

Settings
Scene one~ Training grounds
Scene two~ Ichiraku Ramen Shop
Scene three~ The Bridge
Scene four~ The Infirmary
Scene five~ The Bridge

Scene One~ Commence!

GAI SENSEI
DYNAMIC ENTRRRRRRY! A-ha! [Soars through the air, a sparkling smile lighting up his face]

[His three students, Neji, Ten Ten and Rock Lee, watch him with ranging emotions. Neji is staring at him expressionlessly, as always, Ten Ten is staring at him, her mouth slightly cocked open, a look of horror crossing her face. Rock Lee has nothing but admiration on his face.]

TEN TEN
I really wish he wouldn’t do that. Maybe he could do that if he wore baggier pants... but he wears spandex!

NEJI
If you vision yourself strangling him, it usually takes away from the horrific sight.

TEN TEN
Ah. That explains how you can stand through it so easily.

ME
But, is that true? What if NEJI is just gay, and he hides his emotions? Is that why he wears his hair so long?

ROCK LEE
[Psyched for today’s training. He is running in place]
So what’s on the schedule today, sensei? Are we going to run a hundred laps around the village using only our thumbs? Or what about doing one thousand push-ups?

GAI SENSEI
No Lee. Today I’ve decided to do something a little different.

TEN TEN
Oh boy...

GAI SENSEI
I’m going to teach you the ancient art of— [Jumps up into the air and jabs his fist in an uppercut.]— getting the ladies. [Flashes a grin. As always, the light jumps off of them, and creates a minuscule sparkle. His trademark.]

NEJI
The ancient art of ‘getting the ladies’?

GAI SENSEI
Now, now, don’t sound so enthusiastic NEJI

TEN TEN
Um, sensei? [her voice squeaks a bit.] If you haven’t noticed, I am a lady.

GAI SENSEI
Are you really? [Before TEN TEN can say any more, GAI turns and paces back and forth, his hands clasped behind his back.] First things first. I am going to teach you how to entice the lady. How to use your ‘manliness’ to capture their heart.

ROCK LEE
Manliness?

[While ROCK LEE continues to listen to every word that GAI says, NEJI and TEN TEN sneak off.]

Scene one~ End.

Scene two~ Commence!
NARUTO
Hey, pops! Can I get some more over here? [Holds bowl up in the air.]

[NARUTO is sitting in the shop with SHIKAMARU, CHOUJI, KIBA, and SHINO.]

ROCK LEE
What up, ‘home skillets’?

[All the guys’ heads pop up, surprised. One-by-one, their eyes take in the sight of ROCK LEE. Slowly their eyes widen in horror.

ROCK LEE
What up, ‘dawg’? [Gives NARUTO a flimsy punch in the shoulder and settles himself in a seat.]

NARUTO
Lee, are you... sick, or something?

ROCK LEE
What makes you say that, ‘dude’?

NARUTO
Well... you seem a bit ‘off’.

ROCK LEE
How so, ‘man’?

[KIBA snorts with laughter. He tries to suppress it.]

NARUTO
[He raises an eyebrow] You’re wearing... gangster clothes. And you died your hair... bleach blonde (As you may notice, not many ‘gangsters’ have bleach blonde hair. Is it possible that GAI gave him the wrong advice...?)

ROCK LEE
No way, dawg! GAI SENSEI said that all the lady’s men wear this stuff.

KIBA
[Chuckles] Lady’s men?

ROCK LEE
Yeah, ‘dude’. GAI SENSEI gave me some advice on how to catch the ladies. Its worked pretty well so far. [Leans back in his chair, impressed with his work so far.]

[The guys lean in closer.]

KIBA
How has it worked so far?

NARUTO
What great advice did he give you?

ROCK LEE
Well ‘young grasshoppers’, he said—

Scene two~ End.

Scene three~ Commence!
[All the guys in the previous scenes are leaning against the bridge that is in Konoha. They are all now wearing their ‘gangster’ clothes, with their pants down to their ankles. SHINO has a boom box on his shoulder.]

[Soon the girls come walking in. The group is complete SAKURA, HINATA, TEN TEN, and INO. With a rushed smack in the arm from NARUTO, Shino presses the button and ‘Amadeus’ (that German song in the car commercial) starts playing. The guys all bob their heads along to the music.]

INO
Yeah. I heard that Cheeseburgers were the new black!

SAKURA
That can’t be right! I heard that lime green spandex were!

INO
Nooo. Cheeseburgers are the new black. DUH Billboard Brow!

[SAKURA and INO have a girly cat fight, their heads twisted away as their hands slap one another’s. Suddenly, they hear the music.]

TEN TEN
What in the world—?

ROCK LEE
Hey ‘hot chicks’. What is ‘crack-a-lacking’?

SAKURA
What the hell are you doing Lee?

ROCK LEE
Nothing pretty ladeh. But that is a mighty fine back you got there.

SAKURA
What are you talking about?

NARUTO
Your butt is big.

SAKURA
[Slaps NARUTO] You guys are gross!

[The girls run away quickly in horror.]

SHIKAMARU
Did it work?

ROCK LEE
It seems it worked the opposite way! After them!

[The guys chase the girls through the town. There is dynamic chase music blasting out of the boom box.]

TEN TEN
SAKURA, do you have a plan? They’re chasing us now. I’m scared that they’re going to hurt us!

SAKURA
Fear not! I have a fool proof plan!

Scene three~ End.

Scene four~ Commence!
ME
After pummelling ROCK LEE and the guys to a dust, the girls decide to carry out their plan...

SAKURA
[Rushes into the infirmary.]
Oh Lee! Are you all right? [rushes in and hugs him.]

INO
[Speaks through clenched teeth.] SAKURA... Get away from my man!

ROCK LEE
[Squeaks] Ladies... ladies... Now, now. There’s plenty of Lee for everyone!

INO
No! You’re mine and only mine!

TEN TEN
What? Lee is my man! [Jumps into the catty cat fight with smacking hands.]

HINATA
[Stammers] Um... no. He... is... mine!

[The girls begin fighting.]

ME
Suddenly, out of the blue, a figure jumps through the window with blinding speed!

SHADOWY FIGURE
I am the answer to all your problems! I will help you all equally share Lee! [steps out of the shadows, his teeth gleaming.]

SAKURA
[wryly]
GAI SENSEI? What are you doing here? [Their mock-fight temporarily halts.]

GAI
No! Do not call my GAI SENSEI. I am— at the moment— (Da da Daaa!) Super Spandy! Because I wear spandex. [Points both of his forefingers to his spandex.]

TEN TEN
Oh, Lord! It’s a full body suit!

SAKURA
He always wears a full body suit.

TEN TEN
No. Even the cape is made of spandex! And I think his hair is too! Probably even his face!

[The girls shriek in terror. As they run away, GAI leans in and says to ROCK LEE:]

GAI SENSEI
Look what I told you Lee. It always leaves the girls wanting more. I told you that my advice was fool proof!

ROCK LEE
GAI SENSEI! YOU ARE THE GREATEST!
[Touching man-hug. The sun begins to set behind the crashing waves and tears begin to flow down the faces of ROCK LEE and GAI.]

GAI SENSEI
You’re the best student any sensei could ever have!

ROCK LEE
GAI SENSEI!

Scene four~ End!

Scene five~ Commence!
[NARUTO, KIBA, SHIKAMARU, CHOUJI, and SHINO are leaning up against the bridge. The girls walk by again, but today Lee isn’t with them.]

SAKURA
What are you wearing

NARUTO
[Acting all cool.] Spandex.

SAKURA
Why?

KIBA‘Cause its cool.

TEN TEN
All right then...

[NEJI soon joins them. He is wearing the ‘gangster’ clothes.]

NARUTO
Didn’t you get the memo? We’re wearing spandex today. Did you see how much of a lady’s man Lee is?

NEJI
No. All I could see was the horribleness of staring at him in his spandex. It made me cringe...

NARUTO
[Grins mischievously] No it didn’t... you liked it.

NEJI
. . .

Scene five~ End.

Hey this was hilarious, I don't even know what this show is about, but I still like this
thread. I hope you keep writing.

Thanks chinchillagirl! Here's a picture of Rock Lee, in case you're wondering. If you thought that was funny, his appearance should make you laugh even more. Just look at the 'brows!

http://img186.echo.cx/img186/4527/rocklee4hs.jpg

Hey lerina, after you said naruto fanfics were on here i came and i have to say this is pee your pants funny, (not that i did that) i was laughing a lot. But i was think Neji was gay a lot in the series.

So things i would change though, is just Neji really go gay, and like go, oh lee or something i would have found that really funny at the end. but that's all, i hope to see more stuff like this.

This probably would've been ten times funnier (which would be dangerous, head-exploding-from-laughter, suffocating funny) if... *dramatic music* I watched Naruto. It didn't have little bursts of side stitch funny and the blobs of boring. No, it was mildly funny through and through, and then the laughs jus piled on each other until I was suppressing full-fledged insanity. I'm sorry I can't say more, I haven't tried reviewing scripts before.

-Tex

wow that was really funny I read it to my sister and she's still cracking up

Hope to see more of your writing up soon!

I really didn't know what to expect when I decided to read this- I'm not much of a Naruto fan anymore but I remember enough of the series to get by in most conversations (and jokes). But _this_.

Basically, I think I bust a gut laughing. It was all so absurd but in the style of humor that the series has its humorous aspects. The characterizations were flawless- I love how the guys actually believe Rock Lee when he says Gai-sensei's stuff actually works, and had yielded results.

Great job with this, I hope to see more of your work!

Aw, thanks everyone! You're too kind! :blush:

Hahahahha I used to watch this show, but the plot took a major change and I didn't like it. Anyway this was hillarious I love it. You need to write more. If you do and post it om me and tell me.

This is hilarious! but i hate naruto! I love anime - but only if i like the plot.

Naruto is a stupid, way too overpopular manga/anime. HERE'S why:

1.The characters, in both the manga and anime, are terribly drawn. What kind of a half-assed author was it that created it, anyway?
2. Any manga/ anime that has a main character named Sakura is stupid and half-assed, anyway. That is an overused name.
3. The people that wear those retarded headbands? Ohmygod, do they knowhow retarded they look. Waste of money. People that wear them to stores, malls, and school? FAIL.
4. It's really an anime for people that don't know quality anime. Go watch some Deathnote or Ouran High, PLEASE.
5. I actually saw an episode to see how freaking terrible it was; I was very dissapointed that any functioning members of the human race would even sit through an episode of the anime. A little blond son-of-a-bitch was running around eating 812972 pounds of food, yelling "BELIEVE IT!" in his little gay orange jumpsuit. What the fuck kind of ninja is that?
6. Which brings up another fact. I know that ninjas don't always dress in black, killing people silently. But, I'll be damned if they run around in bright orange jumpsuits yelling "BELIEVE IT!". What the fuck am I supposed to be believing here anyway? That ninjas are loud, annoying, and dressed in bright orange?....disbelief! =0
7. The anime is created for little kids, anyway. That means, everyone 14 and under, and everyone thinks they're pretty damn dorky, too. If you're over 15 and you watch it? I have nothing to say to you. You're a disgrace to mankind, son.
8. It will soon die out anyway, once people notice how retarded it is. Even the Narutards, who are already, obviously, RETARDED.
9. About 90% of the episodes are fillers, everyone can agree on that. It is way too long, each fighting scene lasts for about 5 episodes.

as you can see, i have valid reasons for not liking it. plus ninja anime bore me. i like Death note, Air, elfen lied, vampire knight, gravitation, crimson heroe, honey and clover, baby and me, bleach vampire kisses and Angel sanctuary

Ok, I disagree dude. Naruto is rated for people 13 and over depending on the episodes. If you read the manga you would see that no liitle kid needs to read that. Oh and yes I did watch Death Note until the end. I do say Naruto is not the best of all the anime/manga, but I do like it.

Is huggybear123 talking about the English version of naruto? Obviously that version sucks ass. Try watching the Japanese version with subtitles! Much better haha. And yes, the manga is not meant for little kids, crazy crap happens! You have one thing right though. Lots and Lotssss of fillers but when you get to the actual story its good.

This totally had me laughing the whole time. It was great!!
Write some more plz? *offers cookies n' milk* O;

awsome sawse =D do more!

Haha! This is hilarious. Keep it up! These are so funny, I cracked up on the spot.
The spandex thing = GENIOUS. Sorry if I sound insane, but this is absolutely funny.