I enter the cafeteria and look around to see who's there. Carla and Turk are nowhere to be seen. Elliot and Shaun are sitting together in the far corner, giggling about something. I watch in disgust as he feeds her a carrot stick. Eurgh. Shaun. I plunk myself down next to Perry and hope he doesn't start ranting at me or force me to go sit with them. I guess ever since Elliot and Shaun got back together I've just been feeling hopeless about my love life. I mean, I know I should move on, because they're happy together, but what if she's the one? What if I'm just letting my chance slip away every day, until I end up an old bachelor with only cats for company?
Dr. Cox's voice interrupts my reverie. "What'cha thinking about there, Cindy?"
"Oh, I was just thinking that, once you near thirty years old it's easy to get lonely and feel like you're never going to find your soulmate, but you have to keep your chin up, because-"
"Oh my God, spare me the sentimental crap," Dr. Cox cuts in. I give him a pained look to let him know that by interrupting my summation he has hurt me deeply. "You'd think after two and a half years I'd have learnt not to expect anything remotely interesting or intelligent to come out of your mouth."
"Well, you know, when you hang with the J-Dawg, rational thoughts, they just fly out the window," I say winningly. He glares at me. "'Cause, you know, I'm just so... handsome... and stuff."
"Oh, I'm weak at the knees." I ignore his sarcasm and we lapse into a comfortable silence. After a minute I begin to shuffle surreptitiously closer until there's an inch of space between our legs. And lean the head onto the shoulder, slowly, slowly... He's not whacked me yet! This is good! I chance a sideways glance at his face as my nose heads closer to The Ultimate Goal of the JD shaped space beneath Perry's ear, centimetre by centimetre. His expression is stony. He seems to be pretending this isn't happening. I'm in! I try to quell the joy rising within me and concentrate on inhaling deeply the scent of his shoulder. He smells of twelve hour shifts and hospitals and Perry. He smells of success, of fulfilled fantasies. It feels like all my life my ear has been waiting to come home to its place here, pressed up against the stiff white cotton of Dr. Cox's lab coat. Gently I nuzzle slightly and shuffle in further so that our legs are brushing against each other, our shoes in line. White sneakers next to grubby grey ones. I close my eyes and allow myself to relax, drinking in the perfection of the moment. We're snuggling! In the middle of the cafeteria! It's actually happening!
Gradually his head tilts towards me and I feel it come to rest on top of mine, a comfortable weight. His curls press against my carefully styled hair. I breathe a tiny sigh of utter contentment. Could this be any more wonderful? When I die, if I go to heaven, I'll wake up in the arms of a Perry Cox angel, cradling me for eternity. Of course, I'll have to divide my time between the Eternal Hug and the lesbian cloud, but maybe I can bring the Perry angel to the milkshake pool. We could sip through twirly straws from the same goblet... No! Don't drift off! Even a fantasy as wonderful as that one can't compare to the reality of the here and now. As carefully as possibly, so as not to break the stillness, I curl my arm around his waist.
"Don't push it, Newbie," he mutters tetchily and slaps my arm away.
It's easy to get lonely and feel like you're never going to find your soulmate, and sometimes you have to force yourself to keep your chin up. But, if you're lucky, you'll realise that the only person you ever really needed has been there all along. And, if you're really lucky, they'll realise it too.
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