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Turning of the Leaves



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Mon Oct 11, 2010 3:23 am
IsebellaLynnette says...



*Has one minor spoiler for Ranger's Apprentice book 8, but nothing major.*

Halt groomed Abelard in his stable pen, also feeding him more than one apple in the process. He nearly smiled as Abelard chomped away on the treats, leaving behind only one tiny piece of skin behind after several seconds. As he brushed the shaggy coat until it gleamed, he realized that he was relieved to be back home after several months' hard journeying across the sea to Hibernia, then to Picta, then to Norgate Fief in Araluen, and finally back home, where he belonged, in Redmont Fief.

"Will," he said without turning around or looking up from his work, "you can stop trying to sneak up on me now."

A quiet sigh could be heard from behind the door to the stables. But then a grinning young man with tousled brown hair walked in and said, "Thought you were getting a little too long in the tooth to notice me, Halt."

"You'd better believe otherwise," Halt growled, turning to adjust one of Abelard's saddle girths that required absolutely no adjusting at all so that his former apprentice wouldn't see the wide grin spreading across his face.

Will waited for Halt to take his time putting everything away and feeding Abelard another apple, then dragged him towards the cabin in the woods.

"Why are you taking me there, Will?" Halt couldn't help asking, feeling like a helpless child as he realized how easily Will was pulling him around.

"Oh, no particular reason," Will said casually, though the bounce in his step and the light in his eyes said otherwise.

Suddenly Halt had the strange sensation of being watched. He tried to look around but Will stopped him.

"Hey, take a break. We only got back two hours ago," he chided his former mentor gently. Halt sighed but gave in, letting Will lead him to the verandah of their little cabin at the edge of the woods.

"Now close your eyes..." Will's voice took the annoying tone of an adult holding themself aloof from their child.

"Will, what the blazes is wrong with you? I need to-"

"You need to relax," Will cut him off sternly. "Now do as I say."

Reluctantly, Halt did as he was told.

"So far so good. Now open the door..."

Halt stepped closer to the door, eyes still closed, put his hand on the doorknob, and turned it.

"WELCOME BACK!!"

The massive shout rose from some forty-odd throats. Halt opened his eyes, surprised. Grinning at him were twenty other Rangers, his wife, and several other close friends--who had somehow managed to squeeze into his tiny cabin without suffocating. Halt realized that there were others in the trees behind him. He turned around and nearly started as he saw the massively-built Oberjarl Erak, his first mate Svengal, and ten more Rangers also grinning at him.

But there was one other person there that Halt recognized almost instantly, though he hadn't seen her since he was a teenager.

"It's really you," Halt said quietly.

Tears in their eyes, brother and sister warmly embraced for the first time in over thirty years. Cheering ensued from the assembled group, Will included. Meanwhile, Halt's wife, Pauline, and Will's girlfriend, Alyss, both stood next to him, one to his left, the other on his right.

"Thank you for bringing him back safely, Will," Pauline said quietly.

Will shook his head. Now that he thought back on it, he felt ashamed of what had almost happened. "I only did my job, Pauline. And he was so close to...." he swallowed uncomfortably. He'd rather not think about what had almost happened only a week ago. "I nearly failed both you and him."

"But you didn't, Will," Alyss said gently. "You never have failed him, and we know you never will." As Halt and Caitlyn finally turned back towards the others, Alyss said, "Come on. It's time we did some celebrating."

Will looked up, catching a falling oak leaf just before it brushed Alyss's hair. The leaf was red, the color of the sunrise. Then, as Alyss tugged insistently on his arm, he gave in and breathed in deeply, smiling. He was glad they'd gotten home in time for the turning of the leaves.
"There's a big difference between shooting a target and shooting a charging Wargal. A target isn't usually trying to kill you."
~Halt, Ranger's Apprentice Book Two: The Burning Bridge
  





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Sun Oct 17, 2010 8:08 pm
TheEnigma says...



I never got around to finishing the Ranger's Apprentice series, but from what I can remember, this seems a fairly accurate representations of the characters.

I like how you created this simple little scene and extrapolated the characters' feelings to this moment (at least, I think that's what you did). I especially liked the ending. People think a story has to be full of action but just capturing a moment in life like this--even in a fantasy world--is fascinating. Good job.
  





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Sun Oct 17, 2010 9:57 pm
UncleJimmy says...



I've never read Ranger's Apprentice series, but your characterization is good, and you described the background in fair detail without boring the reader. Good work I'd say.
  





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Sun Nov 07, 2010 6:51 pm
Zekkie876 says...



nice job
I've read the Ranger's Apprentice series, and I must say that you did a great job
You wrote in a way that I felt like I was reading an excerpt from one of the books!
Stellar!
  





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Sun Nov 28, 2010 1:22 am
Celticmusicgirl says...



ok so given that I have actually never heard of this series this may or may not be an appropriate review for this particular piece but I want to review this anyway. For starters I really liked this. I love how you used the latin name for Ireland. Did he go to Ireland or did you just use the latin name because it could pass for a fantasy country? The one thing I notice is in the beginning you start off good but since I haven't rad the series I do not know what Halt and Abelard look like so maybe you could include soem description of what they look like. Are Halt and Will tall or short, what color are their eyes, etc. I don't want to be picky, but just to be safe you shouldn't ever start a sentece with a conjunction. I think that is it for now.
Please feel free to pm me with questions or comments.
maith adh,
Celtic
"No life is forever. We found and fought here. We loved and died here... The crops whither and the bones of hunger walk the sunken roads... The land has failed us... In dance and song we gift and mourn our children. They carry us over the ocean in dance and song.
-American Wake by Riverdance
  








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