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Doctor who: the cardiff meteor shower



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Mon Oct 25, 2010 7:48 pm
dribbleondo says...



Cardiff, a rare point in time where there's a rip in the time vortex that cannot be fixed and by my dates on the TARDIS console, we have arrived at 9:58 at night 2010 in the summer time". Amy wondered about why he took her to Cardiff at night because it cant be to do any shopping because he doesn't need to, he has everything here and secondly nothing interesting happens in Cardiff except.... . "when there's a HUGE, GIGANTIC explosion around about 10:04pm tonight",the doctor said as if he knew what Amy was thinking.

Running. Thats what Gwen did, run away as far away from the hub as possible. Ian to Jones was still in the hub trying to get jack to come with him. "go, now, I can survive anything but you can't ,so GO!!!". Ianto ran. Sirens were wailing ear blisteringly loud as captain jack braced himself for the explosion. To be safe he put up all the shields in the corridor up, so Ianto could have a better chance of escape. The countdown began. Ten seconds later the hub exploded and half of Cardiff bay was on fire.

The TARDIS shook around as if they were still in flight, which of course, they weren't. The doctor and Amy heard crackling noises and bumps from the roof of the TARDIS. The doctor, in shock said, "what was that?, sounded like something hit us". The doctor ran to the TARDIS doors and opened them. They were stuck in some rubble from the explosion.

Amy in amazement gasped and said: "so, we're stuck here?". the doctor confirmed it by nodding. "cant just De-materialize, we're stuck, if the lamps covered, we cant go anywhere. Amy replied angrily saying, "and whys that then?". The doctor then explained that the TARDIS lamp on top of the roof is an early signal to the people around to step out of the way and if it gets covered, the whole system connected to it shuts down because its black,theres nothing to see.

The sky lit up in a blaze of red and yellowy orange as the fire burned throughout the night. The morning eventually came and the doctor was sleeping on a hammock that was below the TARDIS console. The doctor got his screwdriver and held it to a microphone that looked liked it came from a space shuttle control room, he put the sonic device next to it and flicked the switch to activate the microphone.

Screeching was heard all over the TARDIS. The doctor covered his ears but not because of the screeching noise, because Amy just woke up and she was moaning at the doctor for him to stop. Eventually he turned off the microphone and said to Amy, "morning all, had to wake you up somehow, there should be some clothes upstairs". Ten minutes later(or 600 hours in man hours) Amy pond was at last ready to go.

All the TORCHWOOD members could do is run, couldn't go to the police or back to TORCHWOOD,on the count it had been completely blown up, the only pace they could go was an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Cardiff. The police were looking into every house to find 2 people: Gwen Cooper and Ianto Jones. Ianto was walking past a land rover that belonged to the police. He hid behind a wall, or what was left of it and took notes of the license plate that was on the reverse. He knew it. It was their SUV. The police changed it to look like a land rover, badge and all. They even got rid of the lights on the sides of the windscreen that glowed blue at night. The fake land rover left the street to look for two 'on the run 'TORCHWOOD' members.

The doctor suddenly remembered that he had a battering ram that he got given by the Spartans when he helped to fight the plateaus. The doctor ran from one side of the TARDIS to the other and Amy opened the doors. CRASSSHHH!. The rubble flew away from the doors, leaving a corridor made out of rubble. At last, the fresh air but that wasn't the first thing that came into mind, the first thing that came into sight and mind was the wreckage of the bay...
The damage done to the bay was huge. Rhys cooper was watching the end of Coronation street when the explosion happened. He lived some distance away from the bay and he heard the explosion. He frantically called Gwen on her mobile. She didn't pick up. Instead there was an answer phone message that said: I'm sorry Rhys but I'm on the run from the government and the police, don't try to call me or they will find my number,and sorry love, I disconnected the internet company from us so the police cant track us from the bills we get sent.

The doctor and Amy went to a nearby cafe to have a cup of tea. Whilst ordering their drinks, people started to look at the sky, one or two at first then it was the whole of Cardiff, looking up at the skies. The doctor and Amy ran outside to look outside as well and what they saw was absolutely phenomenal, a meteor shower heading straight for Cardiff bay.

There were news reporters on the streets and everything, making reports for BBC news and ITV news and some other news channels as well. The doctor held the sonic screwdriver up into the sky and selected setting 46,the ability to use sonic waves to makes rocks turn smaller. He flicked the switch on the sonic and 5 seconds later there was rocks hurtling everywhere. There were less now than there was but one particular meteor caught his eye, on one of the meteors, there was some rounded metal that was purple with a square pattern embedded onto it. He had to follow that metal meteor.

CRASSSH!!!. Rhys cooper ran out of the house and nearly got hit by yet another meteor. Gwen had arranged for Rhys to meet at skypoint, near the bay. Half an hour later he arrived at skypoint. Rhys waited for Gwen to appear. 5 minutes later Gwen arrived. We need a way to get out of Cardiff. Rhys and Gwen started to think of ways out of Cardiff. They talked for sometime. They came to an agreement they had to stowaway on a van. They couldn't use the bus or taxi because that was run by the government and Gwen told Rhys that they couldn't use the SUV from TORCHWOOD because the police had taken it.

The metal meteor had eventually landed and debris was flown everywhere. The doctor and Amy crept behind a big piece of debris to look at what had landed. The doctor was right at what he thought he saw a part of, it was a sontaran pod and guess what, there was a sontaran inside...

"move up, i can't move my legs in 'ere". gwen thought about this mad plan escaping the govournment and surviving. she tried to think of life before all this happened, the meteors, cardiff bay being blown up by a missile, but she could'nt, it was hopeless.still, at least she had her husband Rhys.

"i have no TARDIS,great, juuust great". then the doctor had an idea."amy, i need you to be a distraction, ok?". amy agreed. " why, exactly". the doctor answered, " i need to know what the sontaran is up to and fast, the TARDIS will explode in....". the doctor looked at his watch and continued, ".....about 45 minutes and the whole world will go with it".

"The TARDIS is powering up, general rengda, soon this, miserable planet will pay for destroying our battle fleet". the doctor carefully ran up to the sontaran pod and there was no-one there. " your not here, are you so lets see what your up to.....".

the doctor searched and searched for a clue for as to anything that would give him a clue to what else the sontarans were up to. he already knew that they were going to blow the earth to kingdom come, but there was something telling him, at the back of his head that the sontarans have maybe just over calculated how big the explosion of the TARDIS would be.

"soon..., this stupid planet and all of the half-forms will be killed by a TARDIS exploding". before general rengda could say anymore, the doctor appeared out of nowhere." that won't happen, belive me, because you hav'nt got you calculations right, see, because the TARDIS will explode and, yes destroying earth but the explosion won,t just blow up earth, it will blow up everything in its path aaaalll the way to the selectras galaxy, and that includes sontar.....

"your bluffing, doctor"." the selectras galaxy is over 1.6 billion trillion lightyears away from earth, it cant possibly reach sontar". the doctor was'nt bluffing, and as the sontarans were about to find out, he was right. on rengda's wrist controller panel, the lights on the panel started to flash in sontar code. general rengda's eyes were wide open, gasping at the message.....

"Like i said, it will blow up sontar, and earth, and the rutan army and possibly even beyond that until the end of time". general rengda replied in a typical sontaran voice, "we are not afraid of death, nor are we of half-forms or time lords". the doctor was, at this stage very angry. "the sontarans will die, end of your race and it will be your fault, oh and yeah you have to stop because there are judoon heading for earth and they'll be here within the hour"

General rengda then said, "then you may want to stop the judoon plotoon because we have your woman half-form friend". a sontaran dragged amy into the underground sewers where the doctor and the sontaran general were. general rengda continued, "and if you think we'll die, your wrong there as well, we now reveal to you, the water bubble manipulater. it can protect anyone and anything from any disaster and that includes the end of the half-forms world".

At the end of the sentance a communication came from general rengdas wristband. it was'nt from the sontarans or U.N.I.T or even TORCHWOOD. it was from the silurians. one of the silurans spoke and said," this isn't the apes world, its ours as well as theirs. you take this world and blow it up, then you get an army of trillions of silurians on your sontaran fleet doorsteps.....

the sontarans, for the first time in the history of sotar, were scared."i do belive those were silurians that spoke to you am i right and its just a guess that they're coming up. as the doctor said those words, the floor beneath them began to crumble away. then they heard a drill. before the doctor could poke his head into the giant eroded hole, he saw the drill top and backed off. "the silurians, i do belive, original inhabitants of earth, forced to live underground, dormant until i woke them up just now".

the sontarans were more angry than scared now." and how exactly did you communicate with them", general rengda said in anger. the doctor replied, " you were going to slaughter earth and i had to stop you, so i thought, don't need U.N.I.T or TORCHWOOD, lets get some aliens that ALSO live on earth and i don't mean me trying to make a scrambled egg on a sunday night, nope, i woke up the silurians with your sontaran pod general, and i know most pods contain a silent sonic beacon to contact the high sontaran commander, i therefore made a few ajustments, inputted my TARDIS base code to add a little power and after a threat or 6000 i told them that the earth would be blown up unless if you fight them, and in return the silurians told me where the sontarans were, in the sewers".
then out of the drill came out 30 silurians. the sontarans picked up their blasters and shot 2 of the silurians stone dead. the silurians shot a sontaran down. it began. silurians versus the sontarans.......

There were laser flying around all over the place. the sontarans moved forward, away from amy, as if they wanted amy to die. after 10 minutes, it was clear that the sontarans killed most of the silurians. the doctor and amy (who had been untied by the doctor during the battle) crept away from the battlefield below in the sewers.

soon, the doctor and amy were out of the sewers and into the cardiff city." the silurians won't stand a chance against them. i need, i need, i neeeeed, U.N.I.T". one quick phone call and a long wait on an answer machine, the doctor finally got through to a U.N.I.T member. " hello, this is the doctor". the doctors face was scrunched up as if he was deaf.

there was a pause.he continued,"yes, good because do you have any of those cordalaine -proof bullets".there was another pause but shorter this time." good, because send your best men to the cardiff sewers because we have a code red". the doctor ran to the sewers and back to the original spot where the TARDIS was. the doctor got out his TARDIS key and held the hole in the key tight. 10 seconds later the TARDIS appeared and the TARDIS groan could be heard all around cardiff, including in the sewers....


"my TARDIS, the homing key still works". amy was glad to see the TARDIS. what the doctor and amy didn't want to see was the TARDIS windows glowing red. the doctor rushed inside. the doctor removed every wire connected to the TARDIS that had a S.T.B.F.12 logo on it. the doctor then de-materialised, away from cardiff, into the time vortex, to safety. " the TARDIS lost connection from the sontaran fleet and it returning to normal, but we do need to refuel because those sontarans used up a lot of TARDIS power".

"left the sontarans with a little surprise,do ya wanna see?...",the doctor said eagerly. amy didn't refuse. the doctor flicked a few switches and within seconds he managed to hack into a nearby CCTV camera to watch the action taking place...

The sontarans killed off the last silurians and climbed out of the sewers. outside waiting was one giant U.N.I.T squad, ready to kill at will. the sontarans shot 2 of the front men down, but the sontarans were outnumbered and they knew it." transport to ship, remotely!". the U.N.I.T squad leader fired at the sontarans. one of the sontarans was shot, the other was transported to the sontaran fleet.

the doctor picked up the phone, dialled U.N.I.T and said,"well done chaps, thanks for helping......"

this story is based on the popular telvision show Dcotor who which is now in it's 5th series. thank you for reading this story. the next story is called: the last cube. :D :) :( :o :shock: 8) :smt002
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 940
Reviews: 28
Mon Oct 25, 2010 7:57 pm
ilovemyboys says...



well, It was a compelling story line. It got a little boring near the end and yes, there were some spelling errors. I'm just not going to point them out. :)
But it was actually pretty good :)
They don't even know you
All they see is scars
They don't see the angel
Living in your heart
Let them find the real you
Buried deep within
Let them know with all you've got that you are not your skin
-Skin, Sixx:A.M
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 8168
Reviews: 111
Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:19 am
Kiwisatsuma says...



Hey! Welcome to YWS! :D

I really like some aspects of this, especially the way you wrote the Doctor. I could totally hear him saying,

lets get some aliens that ALSO live on earth and i don't mean me trying to make a scrambled egg on a sunday night, nope

And Amy taking ages getting changed as well. :smt003

Still, I do think there are ways you could improve this. First off, there were quite a few small grammar issues like punctuation, capitalizing 'I's and dialogue punctuation.

" and how exactly did you communicate with them",

should be,

"And how exactly did you communicate with them,"


Speech needs to have capital letters just like ordinary sentences. There's a really good article on YWS that explains it here, and I reckon you could catch most of the other stuff with a proofread. :smt001

Also, I think you could improve the pacing. It's pretty much non-stop right from the first paragraph, and continues at a break-neck pace the whole way through. It might be better if you slowed it down a bit. For example, in episodes of Doctor Who there's usually a scene or two where they're in the TARDIS deciding where to go, or exploring around, before things get dangerous, and if you put a scene like that in I think it would make this a bit less non-stop, full on like it is at the moment.

I wasn't too sure about some aspects of the plot you have here. It feels a bit like you're trying to cram in as many aliens and characters as you possibly can, but the problem with that is that it get's quite confusing and it's hard to tell what's going on. For example, it was never resolved what happened to Gwen and the Torchwood characters. Meteors, an exploding TARDIS, Sontaran, Silurians and Judoon, with UNIT, Torchwood and the Doctor and Amy on top of that is a lot of threads and I don't think they really hang together.

Lastly, there seems to be an awful lot of killing in this, and isn't that what the Doctor usually tries to avoid? He spend the whole of the episode with the Silurians trying as hard as he could to help humans and Silurians to live alongside one another in peace, so to me it seems out of character for him to be willing to sacrifice the Silurians and use them as troops. I would at least have him saddened by all the carnage that went on, instead of cheerily heading on his way.

Overall, while I do think there are ways you could improve this, it was still an enjoyable read and I hope you post the next one here because I'd definitely like to read it! :D

PM me if you have any questions of this review or anything, and keep writing! :)
  








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