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Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:24 am
purplepen says...



Warning: This is based off the Harvest Moon MFoMT GBA game. If you have never played this game, you will be lost if you try to read this.

Disclaimer:I do not own Harvest Moon

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“I honestly don’t understand why you’re still seeing him, Popuri! I’ve told you over and over, He’s no good!”

“You don’t know him like I do Rick! He’s not as bad as you make him out to be!”

“I know him well enough to understand that he’s not right for you! He doesn’t really care about you, Popuri! What do you think he’s doing those three seasons he’s gone out of the year, Hmm? I bet every other week he’s got a new girl wra-”

“You’re wrong!” Popuri felt tears stinging at the corner of her eyes as she ran out of the house, slamming the door behind her. She didn’t bother trying to hold them back. She didn’t even stop to apologize to Gray when she accidently bumped into him, knocking his UMA cap right of his head, revealing the ginger to the world. She just kept running. She was running to the only form of comfort she could think to run to, sobbing the whole time.

As she neared the beach, she ran faster, as fast as her body would allow. The very moment she reached the snack shack, she burst through the door.

“Hey ba- Popuri, what’s wrong?”

Popuri stood in the door way, bottom lip quivering for a split second before throwing herself at Kai and bursting in to sobs, yet again.

“Shhh. It’s okay. I’m here now. It’s okay.” Kai soothed as he ran his fingers through Popuri's long, pink curls.

“Oh Kai! I-it was s-so awful!”

“What was awful Poppy?”

“M-me and Rick g-got into another fight, a-and this one was worse than the other ones. H-he told me that you don’t c-care about me, and that you ch-cheat on me when you leave every year.”

“He what?! That’s not true Popuri! Not a single word of it! You’re my only girl. I would never do that to you.”

“R-really?”

“Really, really. Rick doesn't know what he's talking about."

“I love you Kai,” She whispered.

"Love you too Poppy." Kai leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. When they broke apart Popuri smiled up at him.

“Ah, there’s that beautiful smile!”

Popuri giggled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Kai smiled and offered her a snow cone. On the house, of course.
~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~.~~.~~.~

Kai lay sprawled out on his bed, looking up at the ceiling and thinking of one thing: Popuri. He hated seeing her cry. Especially when he knew it was his fault. How could he do that to her? How could he cause her so much pain? He didn’t do it intentionally. Maybe Rick was right. Maybe she would be better off without him. Or maybe, it would just make things worse…

Kai’s thoughts were interrupted when his roommate Gray walked in the door.

“Hey man, what was up with Popuri today? I ran into her-or she ran into me actually-and it looked like she was really upset.”

A frustrated sigh escaped Kai’s lips. “She and Rick got into fight about me today. Again. Only this time it was worse.”

Gray shook his head and sat down on his own bed. “So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know man. I don’t know.”

“Well, you can’t just do nothing. How useful would that be?”

“You know Gray, you’re more like your grandfather than you know.” Kai said smirking.

Gray snorted and rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you try to smooth things over with Rick? It would make Popuri happy, and you wouldn’t have to worry about any more fights.”

“I guess I could try that…But it won’t be easy.”

“Yeah. The day he starts acting civil towards you, is the day you decide to permanently stay in Mineral Town.”

‘The day I decide to permanently stay in Mineral Town’ Would it really be that bad living in Mineral Town all year long? He’d be able to see Popuri every day. He’d never have to worry about how she was doing or whether or not she was okay. He wouldn’t have to feel that terrible ache in his heart knowing she was thousands of miles away.

Then again, he wouldn’t be able to travel anymore, but he had already seen over half the world. Out of all the places he’d been to, Mineral Town was the one that felt the most like a true home. Although, that could’ve been because of Popuri. Popuri could make any place feel like a home to him. Where ever Popuri was, that’s where his home would be.

“Gray, it looks like Rick and I are going to have our first civil convocation.” ~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~~.~

“Hey, Rick!” Rick spun around at the sound of his name, and narrowed his eyes at the figure making its way through the entry of Poultry Farm. Shoving some blond hair out of his face, he quickly set down Peck, the chicken he was working with, and marched right over to Kai.

“What are you doing here? If you’re looking for my sister, she’s gone. She’s hanging out with Mary at the library.”

“Well, actually, I came to talk to you.”

“Oh. Well, what do you want?”

Kai sighed. “Look, I know we’re not the best of friends but, I want to call a truce. For Popuri’s sake.”

“A truce? We wouldn’t even have to call a truce if you would just stay away from my sister!”

“Why are you so set on keeping us apart?”

“Because I don’t want you to hurt her!”

“Ha! You’re one to talk about hurting her! This is the third time this season she’s come running to me in tears because of something you’ve said to her! And what about every time you say something about how you disapprove of our relationship? Do you think that makes her feel good? Because it doesn’t, Rick! You’re her big brother! You’re supposed to support her in everything she does. All she wants is for you to be happy for her. But I guess that’s asking too much isn’t it?”

Rick looked dumbfounded for a moment, but he quickly recovered. “Well, I’m not the only one who’s hurting her! What about you? Always leaving her at the end of summer. Always making her wait for three seasons for you to come back. Always flirting with other girls whith your stupid purple bandanna, and your stupid 'oh so charming smile'. The only way you’ll ever be able to make her truly happy is by staying here and we all know that’s never going to happen.”

“First of all, the only girl I flirt with is Popuri, and she happens to love my bandanna. Secondly, I've decided to stay.”

“Exact-wait, what?”

“I’m staying in Mineral Town with Popuri."

Rick didn’t say anything for a few minutes. He just stood there staring at Kai as if analyzing him. Finally, he cleared his throat, and this time when he spoke, it was in a much calmer voice. One that he had never used when speaking to Kai before.

“Well, I guess if you’re willing to give up your life style for her, then you must care about her. I’m sorry I judged you” Rick stuck out his hand, and Kai shook it.

“Kai? What are you doing here?” Kai turned around to see Popuri walking up to them. Kai ran to her, picked her up, and twirled her around. Popuri giggled and said “Kai! Put me down!”

“I’ve got wonderful news!”

“Ooo! What is it?” Popuri questioned with excitement in her voice.

“I’m staying! I’m not going to leave you at the end of the summer.”

“Y-you’re staying? For how long?”

“For however long you want me.” Popuri was beaming from ear to ear. Kai leaned in and gave her, for the second time that day, a sweet kiss on the lips. Only this time, he made it a little deeper, and it lasted a little longer. Kai glanced over at Rick and noticed he was glaring. ‘Well,’ Kai thought ‘It’s nice to see things won’t be changing too much.’
Last edited by purplepen on Fri Mar 11, 2011 2:21 am, edited 2 times in total.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
~Joshua 24:15

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38 Reviews



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Points: 1888
Reviews: 38
Sun Jan 02, 2011 4:10 am
emmylove says...



SQUEEEEEE!! Oh gosh. I love Harvest Moon. And MFoMT was my favorite :D

I don't have many nitpicks, except twice you spelled Kai's name like "Kia." That's a car brand, dearie, not a person. Also, when Kai says, “She and Rick got into another fight about me today. Again. Only this time it was worse,” the "again" is redundant, so either get rid of "another" or "again."

As for overall, I think it needs more description. Like, about emotions, scenery, and physical appearances. True, if someone hasn't ever played the game they wouldn't know about the characters, but someone who didn't know who the characters were should still be able to read this and know what's going on. If I didn't already know what Kai, Popuri, and Gray looked like, your story is only further preventing me from finding out. Same with Poultry Farm and Kai's oceanside shack.

One last thing is that personally, I think Kai's dialogue is a bit too mushy. Like, think about the way Kai talks and the way he acts. He's, for lack of a better cliche, "too cool for school." At least, that's how I always thought of him, and I'm sure there are others who feel that way.

I really do love this! Keep writing (hopefully another Harvest Moon fanfiction in the future? :D), and PM me if you have any questions!
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Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:15 pm
jessig833 says...



I liked it even though i've never heard of this before I understood everthing that was going on but there were some mistakes you spelt some of the names diffrent a couple of times but other than that it was a over all good story...**hope to see more of this**
  





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Mon Jan 17, 2011 3:32 pm
armstronge says...



I've never played a Harvest Moon game before, but I've got Rune Factory 2. It's good, but you need description. The only description I saw was when Popuri ran into Gray and what his hat and hair was like.

It's a short story, but it still needs description. No body knows what Popuri, Kai, and Rick look like -- especially if they don't have a Harvest Moon game.

Other then that, it's great! Keep writing!
“To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world”

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

“Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”
  








"You, who have all the passion for life that I have not? You, who can love and hate with a violence impossible to me? Why you are as elemental as fire and wind and wild things..."
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