Young Writers Society

Joe
Nick and I have the best jobs in the world. For the summer anyway. Afterward, we'll have to figure something out. But until then, we'll just enjoy our time here at the waterpark. Nick and I are the best of friends, and we got jobs as lifegaurds at a waterpark this summer. It's called Raging Waves. It's a really cool place--wave pool, kids section, a huge funnel to slide down, it's fantastic. Nick and I were in charge of the wave pool right now. A few more minutes, and we get out break. (http://www.seabreeze.com/content/images ... ool_72.jpg Raging Waves wave pool)

While I was thinking, I kid talking to Nick from his seat. He nodded and came over to me. "Sup, man?" I asked him. He chuckled at my attempt to be cool.
"I'm gonna try and get this kid's goggles from under the water. Watch my section for a mintue?" Nick asked, squinting his beautiful eyes because of the sun.
"Sure," I said nodding. "See ya." Nick gave a quick nod before diving into the water.
If you're confused on why I said that Nick's eyes were beautiful, it's because...well I kinda have a huge crush on him. I'm bisexual. So is Nick. I've always wanted to take him out on a date, but I've never had the courage to.

I'm getting off topic. I'm supposed to be watching Nick's and my section. We do this every so ofter. If I have to use the bathroom or something, he'll watch over my area. ...Not like that. Pervs.

When I didn't see Nick for a while, I started to get worried. I peered into the water to see...OH MY GOSH! "OUT OF THE POOL!" I shreiked repeatedly. "OUT! GET OUT OF THE POOL!" Nick...he was stuck in the pool filter. I dived in myself to my and pull his hand out. When I couldn't and I had to go up for air, I yelled to one of the other lifegaurds that was trying to calm down the crowd. "Erin! Turn off the pool filter!" She didn't say anything. Erin knew that something serious must have been going on if I had taken action so quickly.

I shot back down into the water again in hopes that Nick's hand would be released. After about five minutes, I was finally able to get Nick out and onto the suface. Someone had called and ambulance and they were on the way. Someone had told me to leave him, but there was no way I could do that. I felt his pulse...nothing. I knew that I had to do CPR. IF I didn't there would be no way he would live. "Nick! Nick can you hear me?!" I shouted, hoping he really would be able to. I began pushing down on Nick's chest 100 beats a minute, just as they had taught us in Living Skills, and here in the class we had to take before beginging our job. Someone tries to take over every so often, but I ignore them. Even when the ambulence gets here, I don't let them take him. Suddenly, I see water coming out of Nick's mouth. I don't stop until I know more is coming out, and I think the rest is out. I let the paramedics take a look at him, but not until he knows that he's alive. And that he's going to be okay. He's concious and breathing now, and that's all that matters to me.
"Joe... " Nick began to say. One of the paramedics tried to get him to stop talking, but he just waved his hand. "You... You saved my life." I blushed.
"You know...anything for a friend."
"J-Joe," Nick said, getting up and sitting on my lap. "You're the best friend I could ever ask for. Thank you. Thank you so much, Joe."
I kissed his head before saying anything. "You're welcome, Nick. I love you." The 'I love you' part kind of slipped out.
"Good...because I love you too." Nick said grinning as wide as his mouth would let him. I leaned in to kiss him softly yet with passion. I love this boy so much.
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You guys like?

Erm... This is disturbing. Are Nick and Joe like... brothers? Okay, I guess I better review it then other than the fact that the characters in this story totally grossed me out. Jick. Ew.

Okay, anyways, the story itself was okay, a couple erros here and there , but there's only one thing I can really stress to you. Detail, Detail, Detail. Since it's in first person there are a lot of opportunities to describe... erm... Nick, and you can even describe more of the other things because you just kind of throw detail after detail onto us and we kind of have no reason why! Other than that, pretter good literature (disturbing theme!)

-- Delanie

P.S. Have any questions? Just PM me!

I wasn't really quite sure what to make of this really. It seemed a little odd. Because Joe and Nick are brothers. And why would they be bisexual? I couldn't tell if it was suppose to be humorous or not.

There was also the obvious flaws with grammer and weird use of the present tense I noticed. Which can be edited of course. That's really no issue. I just found the story a little weird. Had you kept out all the romance I think this could have been better. Good luck with your writing though. I'm sure you do fun work!

You guys REEEEEEALLY don't understand Jick. T.T Look, in this the are NOT brothers. It seems like neither of you are homosexual-accepters, which is what most of my stories are. ><

Joick, just because they don't get the idea you are trying to put forth, does not mean that they are homophobes. Its not an easy subject to put forth in good humor, seeing as most of us will look at this piece and think 'ew... aren't they brothers or something', not 'ew homos'.

So maybe put a disclaimer above this piece saying 'This is supposed to be taken in a sense that is not 'brotherly' but, as if they weren't'.

Sorry if thats not helpful to the storyline but I, myself, found this to be a bit disturbing as well since they are brothers xP. There is something a little wrong with that.

That and I'm pretty sure the kid would have drowned in that amount of time xP. You hold your breath for five minutes. See how that feels.

~Walker