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Young Writers Society


The Splinterwood Letter



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Mon Apr 18, 2011 10:31 pm
fireheartedkaratepup says...



Spoiler! :
This was actually a school assignment--we had to write our own Screwtape Letter. For those who don't know, it's based on a book written by C.S. Lewis--it's a collection of letters from a demon to his underling. Lewis found it hard to write, but I actually had fun with it--is that bad? :p Anyway, this was written last year, so if you spot anything point it out.


My Dear Worrywart,
I see you have been assigned to the girl Virginia. Why this decision was made by the Lower-Downs I do not know, as this particular individual is not inclined to excessive amounts of worry (which is, obviously, your strong point.) She is, rather, inclined to laziness and forgetfulness—Sloth would have been a better choice, or Olvidar, or even Indulgence. I would have assigned you to her brother, Thomas—he is always worrying over nothing. He would have been a much more suitable subject for you to harass.
Still, there’s no use crying over spilled milk (unless, in the case of a human, you want them to hold to a grudge. But that is a subject for another letter.) We shall simply have to treat this as a trial by which you will have to prove that you have abilities besides the capacity to induce worry in your victims.
Speaking of which, let’s make one thing very clear: this is not at all like your previous assignment, in which you were required to possess an object. It is a far more delicate operation that requires skill and craftiness and all the other things you have learned thus far in your (woefully inadequate) training. Furthermore, you have a great deal more to learn if you ever wish to succeed as a successful tempter. You cannot simply emerge from a wooden box and frighten your subject into submission by the sight of your presence. Those crude methods might work in Africa, but it is not the way things are done here. Here, you must use tactics that are far more subtle.
For instance; when a boy passes by, or when he talks to your subject, or when she thinks of boys in general, slip into her mind thoughts of how nice they look, and how good they smell, and how much she wishes that one of the lunkheaded fools would treat her the way the gentlemen in those romance novels she is so fond of treat their women. If you can then get her to become used to these thoughts, it will be a simple matter to have her progress to the kind of thoughts that would make her mother blush for shame if she knew of them. Even if she realizes that something is wrong with the way she is thinking, it will not be easy for her to completely eradicate this particular kind of thought from her mind. You see, once a human gets into the habit of doing or thinking something, it is very hard for them to change their ways. The firmest of resolutions and the best of intentions cannot easily change the pattern that has become ingrained in their lives. Of course, the Enemy has the power to break these patterns, if the humans He has created will only cry out to Him. This is a large stumbling block for us, as once He changes a person, that person will generally stay changed. However, we have an advantage. The fact is that these silly creatures are prideful. They don’t like asking for help. For this reason, a number of the greatest of the Enemy’s warriors have some very large handicaps in the way of habitual acting or thinking. Our warriors work night and day to keep them blinded to the fact that they are addicted to the computer, or the television; or that some of their normal thought processes go against everything that the Enemy has written in that vile book of His they call the Bible. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. It is the only book on earth that actually acts as a sword that can rip the strongest of our kindred spirits asunder and send them screaming to the pit.
Fortunately for us, your subject is not a Christian; so you do not have to worry about such things as ‘Divine intervention’ or ‘the Bible.’ Your job must be one of stealth. You must blind your subject to the things of the detestable Light, and slip little thoughts into her mind such as will lead her mind away from the Light and towards the ever looming Darkness. I must caution you, however, that if you try to push her too hard or too hard or too fast, she may realize that what she is thinking is wrong, and cease to do it altogether.
Your affectionate Uncle,
Splinterwood
Spoiler! :
Originally, it was going to be an aunt, but then I remembered that angels (fallen or not) are not female.
"Ok, Lolpup. You can be a girl worth fighting for."
--Pengu
  





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Sun Apr 24, 2011 12:42 pm
NLPrincess13 says...



*raising my hat* :D
i loved it, the paragraphs is rich and meaningful. i like it and i think i am going to read for C.S lewis!
any way, well done... i don't think you need any fixes though it's just my opinion.
Keep up and update us with more pieces :D
<3 Princess of Neverland <3
  





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Sun Apr 24, 2011 12:50 pm
halogirl4197 says...



You don't establish clearly what is occurring. You need explain in more detail who you are and what's going on.


Thank you.
Remember me for who I am, Not for who I was
  





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Wed May 18, 2011 2:24 am
Mrs Elizabeth Darcy says...



Awesome. I wrote something like this once!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Screwtape Letters. LOVE them. They are AWESOME. Although this obviously isn't Lewis, it has several extremely accurate points in it about the Devil.

Just to point out---technically, angels aren't male either...

And Lewis himself said that it was the easiest writing he had ever done, although he did hate it.

Cheers!

Mrs.E.D.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife.
Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 1
  





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Fri May 20, 2011 3:08 pm
Ranger Hawk says...



Anime! This was lovely!

I read the Screwtape Letters a couple of years ago, and from what I remember about them, you are spot-on with your writing style. I could definitely hear Lewis' voice as I read this, and you did a great job making it sound like something he'd write, between the vocabulary, the practical tone, and the era-type references.

I suppose my only nitpick would be that, in Lewis' novel, I remember that he taught lessons through these letters; you have a bit of a "moral" (the part about pride and the habits that can't be broken), but I feel like you could have emphasized this more. You spend quite a bit of time about techniques and talking about other demons, and even though it's entertaining, I feel like it could use a little more around the actual core of the letter, the point you're trying to drive home. Not too much to overwhelm the reader, of course, but just a little more for us to sink our teeth into and think about. Just a suggestion, and it's not a super-huge issue.

This is a large stumbling block for us,

I love how the demon uses a saying from the Bible. XD

All in all, this was a fantastic piece! Keep up the great work. Cheers! :]
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people:
psychopaths and mystery writers.

I'm the kind that pays better.
~Rick Castle
  








A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.
— Honore de Balzac