Coming to the Oracles front door, he used his amazing Matrix powers to knock down the door in slow motion using a fancy kick while the camera did a cool 360 thing around him.
The Oracle was sitting down in front of the couch watching T.V when he came in. She was smoking a cigarette and shoving down pieces of candy, as usual.
"Was that completely, necesary, Neo? You already draw too much attention to yourself wearing that. Don't you think the agents would have a harder time finding you if you just wore some normal clothes once in a while?" she asked, angry that her door was now on the floor.
"No time for your meaningless drivel, Oracle, because I, Keanu Reeves, need to use your powers to tell me my fortune," he said, making his way over to her seductively. Before he sat down, he noticed that the Oracle looked different. "Have you gained weight?" he said, staring at her large consumption of candy.
"Impossible," she said, popping another strawberry gummy into her mouth, "all these candies are low fat!"
"How many have you ate?" Neo asked, starting to feel sick from looking at the Oracle eat.
"Oh, about as much as there are people who have watched these movies," she replied.
"That's a lot."
"Yes, but your going to forget about it in two seconds anyway since I have special mind powers," she said, licking her fingers.
"Forget what?"
"Exactly."
Neo looked confused. "Could you just tell me my fortune now?" he said impatiently.
"Oh, alright, but I'm not going to use complicated metaphors and ridiculously long speeches about something that has deep meaning but in reality doesn't make sense. Today I'm just going to get to the point. Agent Smith is going to attack you and win," she said, lighting another cigar.
"You liar!" screamed Neo, pointing his finger at her, "I, Keanu Reeves, cannot be defeated by Agent Smith! I am the one!"
"The one that's gonna lose," muttered the Oracle under her breath.
"What's that, Oracle?" said Neo.
"Oh, nothing dear," said the Oracle, smiling, "I just said you're a horrible actor."
"Oh, okay, that's fine. I get that a lot," he said, laughing. Then an akward silence followed. Several moments later Neo got up.
"Well, I should be going now," he said, taking off his glasses.
"Okay, Neo," said the Oracle, "See you later."
Neo walked over to the open space where the door had been and walked out, finding that several agents were waiting for him.
"HEY, YOU SET ME UP!" he screamed, pointing his finger at the oracle.
"Whoopsie," she said, trying to look innocent," I wanted my made up vision of Agent smith defeating you to come true, so I called them all here."
"AAARRGH! I, KEANU REEVES, should not have to deal with this!" he said, angry. "Sparks, Unload the matrix!" he said, talking into his earpiece.
"But Neo, your mind could get erased!" he said, worried.
"I don't care, I'm an actor! There is nothing in my mind anyway. Now unload the matrix! This thread is called "THE MATRIX UNLOADED" by magicman on some young writer's something or other, so DO IT!" he screamed, a vein pulsing in his head.
"Okay," said sparks and Unloaded the Matrix.
Everything went blank.
"Matrix Unloaded," said a pleasant female voice. "Hello? Is anyone there?" she asked. "Oh, screw this!" she said, and then everything went black. The matrix was now gone forever, along with Neo.
I guess everyone will just have to live in the real world from now on. How sad.
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