z

Young Writers Society


Living Swell



Random avatar


Gender: None specified
Points: 909
Reviews: 2
Tue Dec 13, 2011 6:12 am
TheRabiesPuppy says...



What's it really matter
and who am I to speak?
The riches to the rich,
and shadows for the meek
and for the kind, there's nothing;
so the hustlers disagree.
I should be more fierce;
put some extra meat on me.
I ahould study harder;
I should Ace more tests;
I should snap my backbone
whilst I'm snapping naive necks.
Nothing lasts forever,
not shame or sin or hell;
so I really shouldn't worry
what kind of lies I tell,
what stink that I exude,
as long as life is swell.
I could be a pig.
Godless, ever hungry;
wallow in my filth
despite upsetting others.
I should be despised.
Striking others with my scowl;
eerie with it's dripping
drops of sour sauce.
But I'm not really anything.
I am but a noble,
honest man with values
who can manage to sustain
what I have and what I need
earn the money so I can feed
the unfit who depend on me
who, no doubt, will someday die.
  





User avatar
19 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1245
Reviews: 19
Tue Dec 13, 2011 7:50 am
volleyball13 says...



It sounds great to me.
You had a typo, so I thought I would point it out in case you didn't see it.
I ahould study harder;
'ahould' should be 'should'. :)
"Crowded classrooms and half-day sessions are a tragic waste of our greatest national resource - the minds of our children."
Walt Disney
  





User avatar
187 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 350
Reviews: 187
Tue Dec 13, 2011 9:08 am
ChocoCookie says...



I like it! :D
This was a different poem. Oh God. People write such different poems nowadays. :P
But that's good! :) Anyway, I love the idea of this poem and I'm looking forward to your poems. xDD

I loved this two lines!

TheRabiesPuppy wrote:I could be a pig.
Godless, ever hungry;


Lol. ^.^

Keep Writing! *.*
--
Cookie! <3
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.


New to YWS? We'll help you out! <3'
  








We join for the writing and stay for the community!
— Horisun