Young Writers Society

You've caused me so much pain and misery
But I still cannot let you go,
I don't know why you mean so much to me?
You see,
To other people you would be just another friend another guy.
But to me
your more than and friend or another guy,
You've been there for me,
You were there for me
when nobody else in the world was
When I was thought that I was all alone
You were always by my side
Helping me.

But I guess I don't mean the same
I get treated like dirt ,
After everything you've done to me
You broke my heart many times.
But I still want you after everything you've done.

Hey Courtney,
You have a lot of errors in this poem. And instead of writing a nice long review like I normally do I'm just going to show your errors on your work.

You've caused me so much pain and misery
But I still cannot let you go,
I don't know why you mean so much to me?
You see, You went from a long line to a short one and it makes you work look sloppy.
To other people you would be just anothor friend anothor guy. Another is spelled wrong.
But you see,
To me your more than and frined or anothor guy, Friend and Another is spelled wrong.
You've been there for me,
You've listen to me cry,
Listen to me complain, It should be "listened" not "listen"
when I had no one else,
You gave advice. I'm going to fix this at the bottom of my review.

I guess I don't mean the same
I get treated like dirt a lot by you, "A lot by you" shouldn't be there. It makes you poem sound bad.
After everything you've done to me It would sound better as "After everything I've done for you"
Broke my heart, There should be a "You" before that.
Many times. This line should be up with the line before it.
But I still want you after everything you've done.

Okay, now in your first stanza last four lines, it sounds choppy and rough to me. And very common. I would have said something like "You were there for me; when nobody else in the world was; When I was thought that I was all alone; You were always by my side" Or something like that.

Since the first reviewer corrected your grammar and spelling mistakes, I am going to delve into the depth of this poem. Firstly I would just like to say that, anything that comes from the heart is more original than you think. The heart is not just an organ but a production facility of passionate concepts such as this. In the first stanza I see you have outlined the importance of this guy and what he means to you, what he means to others. It sounds rather simple but, it runs quite deep and is many layered.
“To other people you would be just anothor friend anothor guy.
But you see,
To me your more than and frined or anothor guy,”

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but so is character and stature. When I read that line I saw you eyes as incomplete puzzle pieces seeking to be completed by this guy. It basically created an indirect image within my mind, an image you didn’t mean to create.

“I guess I don't mean the same
I get treated like dirt a lot by you,
After everything you've done to me
Broke my heart,
Many times.
But I still want you after everything you've done.”

This last stanza here creates yet another indirect image of a guy standing tall and triumphant on a pile of dirt. Then the dirt rising up to embrace him. Interesting.

Great poem. Keep writing.

Hi!! I see this is your first poem, so welcome to YWS. I really liked this poem because I understand the feeling, however others may not so you have to make this poem clear and understandable.

You've caused me so much pain and misery
But I still cannot let you go,
I don't know why you mean so much to me.
You see,
To other people you would be just anothor friend another guy.
But to me,
your more than a friend or another guy.
You've been there for me,
You've listened to me cry,
Listened to me complain,
when I had no one else,
You gave advice.

I guess I don't mean the same
I get treated like dirt a lot by you, this line should be somehow re-worded
After everything you've done to me
Broke my heart,
Many times.
But I still want you

I suggested a few wording and grammar corrections, but don't feel required to use them. I still quite love this poem. Keep writing- Victoria

Since, the other reviewers before me corrected your grammar and tone of your poem, I really have no other advice to give you besides the line

" I don't know why you mean so much to me?"

To me this isn't really a question, but a statement to yourself, so I do not think it requires a question mark. Other than that, listen to the other reviewers because I saw the same mistakes that they pointed out.

First off, the poem didn't make much sense to me, there were a lot of spelling mistakes for example
'another' and 'friend' are spelled wrong multiple times throughout the poem, and if I were you I'd try to use either short lines or long lines not both.
Keep trying and good luck on your next one.

Thanks guys for your reviews. I know I had made a lot of spelling errors and I will change that, I had to leave for school.
But I'm glad for the help.

I can relate sooo much to this poem! I am going through something just like that right now. I think a lot of other people have experienced something similar to this. I just have a few suggestions. There were a couple wording errors here and there. Try to proof read it one more time to check the clarity. The structure was good, it was set up well. Try using some more descriptive words or metaphors such as: "Leave my aching heart alone", or "A part of you will always live in me" or I don't know...something like that. Also, try substituting some simple words using a Thesaurus. (Just make sure the usage is correct) You could also go into more depth about what he's done or what your relationship/friendship used to be like. But otherwise i think its a great start. Keep up the great work!

Gg127 thanks I will.