Young Writers Society

I am a person of many worlds
You see me all the time
I travel back and forth they say
To the end of all life

I am not a bad person
As most people would say
Consider me a traveler
Hooded and cloaked is my way

Your journey as of now
Is just the path towards me
There is nothing to fear
I only serve most humbly

Please do not assume
That I am pain in disguise
You’ll think of me quite nicely
When you see the wonders of divine

It does not hurt after it is over
You will forget the pain immediately
As for the ones you feel bound too
They will come, wait and see

I am your master, as well as your servant
My duty is meant to help you
We will always forgive the wrongs you have done
But only if you do too

There is no sorrow in the places I show
All blind now see me as terror
I assure you, that is not my intention
For I am the world keeper

This was very well done. Interesting and mysterious, and that's why I love it! I love it when Death himself is the narrator and explaining his ways to guide others into a new world. I found nothing wrong with it! Keep writing~ C:

~Disenchanted

Well, this was fun.

DEATH speaking about death... great topic. And you pulled it off fairly well.
DEATH here has a consistent tone very similar to things I have read elsewhere, where he's/it's composed, casual, sort of "above everything." Very inhuman when you think about it, but easily mistaken for human when it's talking to you. It helped here that your word choice was bland (a rare thing to be helpful in a poem, but it is here), nothing particularly startling or singular. DEATH would have no need to hide things, deceive by fancy words and images - it is final, after all (or so it is implied). Very good job making DEATH believable.

Grammar has few issues, nothing serious.

I travel back and forth, they say (since you use commas elsewhere, you should really put that one in for purposes of pacing and ambiguity reduction)

As for the ones you feel bound too (just a typo here)

Now, you have two instances of rhyme that I could detect. Not working. Either eliminate them for serving no purpose, or - add some nice ones in. The latter is my preferred option here, for a tone/character reason: DEATH is ancient, and it would be a nice touch to have it rhyme a few lines here and there as, say, an old habit. While that makes no sense in and of itself, readers will get it because it will make them think of old-timey classics like the works of Shakespeare and Milton, perhaps works still older, who knows.
That said, make sure the rhymes aren't forced. One so experienced and potent as DEATH should be capable of easily weaving in and out of rhyme nearly at will. It would feel awkward listening to DEATH flub its lines, so be wary of that.

Not much to say about the choice of things told, pretty standard fare there, all well and good. Overall, a cool and very appreciable piece - keep writing! =]

For a while, it took me a while to figure out that Death was the speaker. I think I am an idiot. xD Still! Once I found this out, the whole poem made a lot more sense.

So, I think this is, in general, a very cute poem. I mean, Death defending himself? It's quite funny, actually! It definitely reminds me of Shel Silverstein... and this is a good thing, trust me!

I think the main thing that is choking this piece is the lack of metering and the strange rhyme. Mostly the lack of metering though. See, look at this:

I am a person of many worlds - 10 syllables
You see me all the time - 6 syllables
I travel back and forth they say - 8 syllables
To the end of all life - 6 syllables

I am not a bad person - 7 syllables
As most people would say - 6 syllables
Consider me a traveler - 8 syllables
Hooded and cloaked is my way - 7 syllables

Your journey as of now - 6 syllables
Is just the path towards me - 6 syllables
There is nothing to fear - 6 syllables
I only serve most humbly - 7 syllables

Please do not assume - 5 syllables
That I am pain in disguise - 7 syllables
You’ll think of me quite nicely - 7 syllables
When you see the wonders of divine - 9 syllables

It does not hurt after it is over - 10 syllables
You will forget the pain immediately - 11 syllables
As for the ones you feel bound too - 9 syllables
They will come, wait and see - 6 syllables

I am your master, as well as your servant - 11 syllables
My duty is meant to help you - 8 syllables
We will always forgive the wrongs you have done - 11 syllables
But only if you do too - 7 syllables

There is no sorrow in the places I show - 11 syllables
All blind now see me as terror - 8 syllables
I assure you, that is not my intention - 11 syllables
For I am the world keeper - 8 syllables

So, see how lopsided that is? I mean, the syllable count varies from stanza to stanza, so it doesn't have an easy way of flowing but rather a forced way. And, counting syllables is just the FIRST thing you do. After you make the stanzas balanced and consistent with each other, you have to worry about other things... like how it sounds. This kind of poem should flow lightly from your tongue. After all, this is humorous! If it doesn't, then that means that you should change the word around.

Still! Nice poem. Love the idea! Very funny. Just make sure you get that metering right.

And don't forget to read it aloud This will help you with most of your problems.

I like how this poem seems to point out that death is feared in our society even though it is a natural thing. Good job. And, beside from some syllable issues that were already addressed in previous comments, it's a great piece.