Young Writers Society

Give me something,
Give me anything,
Just a little pill, a little drink,
I’ll take it all,
An escape from the pain,
Don’t worry, I’ll be OK,
Just a little while, I promise,
only a little while.

Can’t I just please be released
From this endless torment
That the television screen sends me
Can’t I just please be set free
From the internet screens
That remind me of screams, of screams, of screams…

Please?

Just a little while, I promise,
It’ll be only for a little while.

Just let my eyes glaze over for a bit,
Please, please, just a bit, it won’t hurt much
It never hurts,
You don’t need it, don’t worry,
But I do. Just give it to me, please, please, please.

Don’t make me scream, scream, scream.

I just need to be gone for a little while…
Just a little while.
I promise.

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I think I posted this in the right place (kinda new at the whole poet thing)... did I? So sorry if I didn't... *goes and hides*

I really liked it; the repitition of certain words was done well and you have a nice flow going throughout. I also like how it can be adopted to either the conservative or liberal paradigm. I mean, there have been screams from both sides since the election (one being a mournful sometimes "The south blows so I'm moving to Canada!" scream, the other being a joyous sometimes "Lets go for the jugular now!" scream).

Overall, done very well I thought. I got no real criticism.

Thanks Nate.

Mostly this is just me being me. I am defined as liberal... mostly though it was my frustration that, at sixteen, I couldn't do anything anyway. Couldn't vote, can't move, can't organize anything... because I'm a friggen piece of property until two years from now. And it blew that I had adults that had less an IQ then me voting for a guy I DID NOT want...

So, that's what it was about... kinda...

EDIT: And on a side note, I didn't take any drugs or alcohol around then, even though I desperatley wanted to. I do admit to it once in a while, but if I have to use it to escape, I've crossed a line I don't want to cross. So I didn't... in case you wondered.

*bump*

forgive me.

ohh, i like this one. i love the flow in it, and repitition of it. australia recently had its election too, and being 16, it's annoying to think what is being allocated our "leader"

Ingenius for a political poem. Some of the repetition proved virtuouso, but some repetition terribly fell through the cracks. The poem I liked--your beliefs I do not. Nevertheless, this was an excellent political poem. My only suggestion is to maybe cut a miniscule fraction of the repetition, which I found to be annoying, for some reason.