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Young Writers Society


Where there be an angel



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39 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 972
Reviews: 39
Wed Nov 16, 2011 10:08 am
Blossom says...



Halo send me down,
let the light of this daydream
leak to the ground.
May the tranquility of my stream of memories
pave me a path to serenity.

It seems there is more than distance between us;
the window I once adored you through,
is frosted with confusion,
and now it's too cold for angels to fly...
it's too late for me to grab hold
of what's never been,
what's only ever imagined in a dream.

I shan't feel broken,
I see I was never whole to begin with;
could never fix what was never made,
and with nothing come's an angels tear.
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 240
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Wed Nov 16, 2011 8:20 pm
SarcastiC says...



Awesome
thanks, music, for being there when nobody else was....
  





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245 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 15440
Reviews: 245
Wed Nov 16, 2011 11:18 pm
creativityrules says...



Hello there!!!

First off, I adore the concept of this piece. It almost seems, to me, like a fallen angel who has realized that she can never be with who she loves. Love it!


It seems there is more than distance between us;
the window I once adored you through,
is frosted with confusion,
and now it's too cold for angels to fly...
it's too late for me to grab hold
of what's never been,
what's only ever imagined in a dream.


My favorite part of this entire poem is the third line of this part of the poem. I love how you used the words 'frosted with confusion'. I just know that the next time I see a frosty window I'm going to think of this poem.

Awesome work!! Always keep writing!!!

-Rose
“...it's better to feel the ache inside me like demons scratching at my heart than it is to feel numb the way a dead body feels when you touch it."

-Brian James
  





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1634 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 67548
Reviews: 1634
Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:33 pm
Deanie says...



Hi

I really like this poem. It was really sweet and matched the title well. The story was beautiful and you have some lovely metaphors and language jammed in there. The rhythm flowed well. My favourite line had to be:

Blossom wrote:and now it's too cold for angels to fly...


It reminds of a song by Ed Sheeran called the a-team. It fits this poem wonderfully.

This is the type of poem I will think about long after I've read it, which is exactly what a poem should do... I think. It was wonderful, and amazing and great. I wouldn't change a single thing.

Deanie x
Trust in God and all else follows.

Deanie, dominating the world since it was cool @Pompadour, 2014
Your username reminds me of a hotdog @Stegosaurus, 2015
Tried to make puns out of your username, but every attempt has been Deanied @Candywizard, 2015
  








We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
— Arthur O'Shaughnessy