Young Writers Society

I love the night.
Perfect weather to cry.
aha I teared a bit.
This joy is unsustainable.


I love speaking.
Perfect atmosphere for pain.
Ouch I felt that.
So sore, so great.


I love darkness.
Perfect time to sing.
Now listen to the high notes of Hell.
The audiences' ovation.


I love words, yours.
Perfect chance to hear a lie.
Wait that's not the truth, besides the point.
I'd rather my thoughts deny your image. Than voice.


I...


Cannot write anymore
This cheat of ventilation.
Its fallacy.
Wrong beyond correction.
Pure malice.

This is awsome. It makes me feel like saying, you know your a writer when you can relate to this its wonderfully dark. You write with so mch passion. I really loved the poam. This was so good.

Hey Isaac~

Your poem was a little dark. Though I'm sure you intended it to be that way, yes? Anyway, I have a few nitpicks:

I love the night.
It's the perfect weather to cry.
aha Ah. I teared a bit.
This joy is unsustainable.

Firstly, I've put "weather" in bold because you say that you love the night and it's the perfect weather to cry. But, night isn't a weather. So, how can you say that it's the perfect "weather"? If you meant something deeper, I'm really sorry, but I don't understand it. I am an amateur poet, after all. Also, I added "It's the" over there because I think that makes the poem flow a little better.

Secondly, "aha" should be "Ah." and A should be capital, since you ended the previous line with a full stop.

I love speaking.
It's the perfect atmosphere for pain.
Ouch. I felt that.
So sore, so great.

Again, I added "It's the" in the second line because I thought it'd flow better that way. Also, "Ouch" will be followed by a full stop.

I love darkness.
It's the perfect time to sing.
Now listen to the high notes of Hell.
The audiences' ovation.

I loved this stanza. It's just... amazing.

I love words, yours.
It's the perfect chance to hear a lie.
Wait that's not the truth. It's besides the point.
I'd rather my thoughts deny your image, than your voice.

I think the first line of this stanza would be better as "I love listening to your words."

I...


Cannot write anymore
This cheat of ventilation.
It's fallacy.
Wrong beyond correction.
Pure malice.

Your last stanza was really powerful and a great way to end the poem, according to me. I loved your poem. It was absolutely wonderful to read, especially since I like dark poems.

~HPR~