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Young Writers Society


Bleed



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37 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 915
Reviews: 37
Thu Jan 19, 2012 12:07 am
LukanRinta says...



Whisper to me, darling.
Tell me your lies.
Say you love me;
look into my eyes.

Surrealistic anguish
keeps me alive.
That light in the blackness
helps me survive.

I am my own artist,
but I paint with blood.
On my canvas of pain
I let emtions flood.

So call to me, sweetheart.
Use my name.
The agony you'll cause me?
Well, two can play that game.

The spell you have me under,
that sweet, septic tyranny.
You're killing me slowly,
and giving me no sympathy.

Now your heartless acts
drive my hostile creed.
What's left for me to do,
but sit, and cry, and bleed?
"She looks to the stars and wishes upon one; then waits for love at the next rising sun" <3
  





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125 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6975
Reviews: 125
Sat Jan 21, 2012 4:22 pm
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silentwords says...



I really liked this poem! It flowed really nicely, and the rhymning felt natural. The words you chose really gave it a dark and melodic mood. I was just being carried throughout it. The poem sounded honest and I was able to feel for the narrator.This was very interesting and unique! There wasn't any grammar or spelling errors that I noticed. Lovely piece (:
I'd like to think I'm creative... instead of just plain weird ;D
  








Daddy Long Legs are more closely related to crabs than spiders and somehow the idea of crablike creatures with spider legs that have escaped the entrappings of the primordial sea and now crawl over land and can walk up and down walls and ceilings creeps me more than I can adequately describe.
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