Young Writers Society

Inspired by reading 'The Lost Years of Merlin Books' by T.A. Barron, specfically by the part when Merlin is on the stair going to the underworld and questioning everything.

Mist

Wisps of mist circle around me
As if eyes were there
Searching, wanting, indulging in the naiveté of my youth
For I know nothing and
I know something
How little I really do know
And the farther I delve
The more it shakes my once indestructible platform
Which once grew strong with hubris
For the deeper I go into myself the farther I sink into uncertainty
And the shaky ground that wobbles now under me
For gone is the granite mound that cradled fallacy
And gone is the arrogance that made me blind
For there is fear now, deep with in me
I know not many things and that shakes my foundation
The mists still circle around me enveloping my malleable body into silver threads of the cosmos
And the stair still winds and I accept that
Everything is new
and
Everything is wonder
and
That this fear is just a product of longing

I like it. This line: "The mists still circle around me enveloping my malleable body into silver threads of the cosmos" is probably a bit long, it would flow better if you cut it. Also, "That this fear is just a product of longing" would probably do well if you cut out the "that". Apart from that, I really enjoyed it. Nice work.

great poem, i can really relate.
i like the effect of [i]'[u]Searching, wanting, indulging [/u]in the naiveté of my youth' [/i] the rythmn is like someone is chewing/ taking bites of what the person use to be.

[i]For the deeper I go into myself the farther I sink into uncertainty[/i] i like the idea of 'deeper' and 'sink' as these words compromises each other to create the imagery

some fantastic descriptions such as [i]For gone is the granite mound that cradled fallacy [/i]!

and the loose structure really helps the poem to create a sense of uncertainty.

overall, very well written!



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Wow, thats cool, I like the quiet sence of suspence. It has atmosphere..