Young Writers Society

I haven't decided to go with verse A or B, so I put both. Sorry for the repetion. Please tell me what you think.


Dishonest, Content

I lie to live.
I promise myself,
“All things mend in time”.
But my spool is spent
And my needle dulled
With stitching too many hurts.

I couldn’t darn a sock now if I tried.

A) I lie to live.
I promise myself,
“It will be alright”.
But “it” is a wisp that trails “If only”
And winds into the twine of other “its”
Too tightly plied to smooth the kinks.

I couldn’t untie myself if I tried.

B) I lie to live.
I tell myself
“It will all work out”.
But “it” is plural and multiplying,
And solutions dissolve into equations
With faded numbers and rubbed out signs.

I wouldn’t recognize “alright” now if I tried.


And “Good things come to those who wait”
But no one marks the time.
And no on hears the wishes.
They are buried in an hour’s sand,
Sooner forgotten than granted.

I was never any good at waiting.

I lie to live.
I nearly trick myself and say,
“If you tell a lie enough, you will believe it”.
But believing is not knowing,
And I know better.
The glitter is only gold and diamonds
While the stage lights shine.

I’ve never been any good at lying.

I chase and earnest hope
For dishonest happiness.
Life is pursuit-
Death, the end of purpose.
And so

I lie to live.

29-Jun-05 23:04

I like all the imagery, especially in the begining about the needle. Its really cool how you do a verse and then a little line at the end that sortof sums it all up with somthing irevelevent.. And how the verses get shorter as you go on. Its a little long though.

I love it. I agree with Jennafina about the needle images and I also loved the "Good things come to those who wait"' stanza. I didn't think it was too long. Great job.
As for A and B, I think I like verse A better.

I interpret views that don't post as marks of disapproval. If you read this, please say something, even if it is "This sucks", or "I like it". I imagine all of you thinking the worst if I don't read otherwise.

I really liked it. I would choose verse A over verse B. I liked the lines "But 'it' is a wisp that trails 'If only' / And winds into the twine of other 'its' / Too tightly plied to smooth the kinks." Like jennafina and BlackDaisy already said, the imagery was very good.