Young Writers Society

The dry night air bursts in my mouth,
awakening a thirst in me,
only to be overpowered by the
assimilated guitar chords reminiscent of last Christmas.

Tonight as I walk, streetlights leave thin footprints
on the stale road, spying shyly.
Here I'm simply a fugitve, a refugee
who has left the past behind until he's banged back home.

My sensible mind won't allow anything disruptive
to stamp itself into my consciousness.
What I left on the other side of the door shall remain there.
What engages my mind every other moment is a distant dream.
written: Monday 3rd January 2004, 12:20am.

A little bit confusing but i still feel like i can understand the feeling behind it even if i don't understand the intent of every line.

For some strange reason I can really, really relate. And I unterstand it, I don't think its confusing. I like the first line the most, I though it descirbed very well.

Beautiful inmagery, but I am unsure as to your intent.

You lost me at the 4th line. Christmas?

The dry night air bursts in my mouth,
awakening a thirst in me,
only to be overpowered by the
assimilated guitar chords reminiscent of last Christmas.
Great opener. I like how you use Christmas as a symbol for supressing current problems through memories of happier times. Really well written.

Tonight as I walk, streetlights leave thin footprints
on the stale road, spying shyly.
Here I'm simply a fugitve, a refugee
who has left the past behind until he's banged back home.
I didn't like the worded "banged" in the las tline. Other than that, good, I like the streetlights image.

My sensible mind won't allow anything disruptive
to stamp itself into my consciousness.
What I left on the other side of the door shall remain there.
What engages my mind every other moment is a distant dream.
Good conclusion. I like how you sum up the poem in the last line, but I think it should be reworded. It sounds kind of strange the way it is now.

I understood it. Basically it's about ignoring all negative thoughts and memories, and allowing only dreams of happiness in ("a distant dream"). Christmas is an example of one of those happy memories, and it comes into the poem right when the you begin to aknowledge "disruptions". Very good poem.