Young Writers Society

A Tiny Snow White Dove,
Gliding Far Away,
Out My Sight It Goes,
Where I Missed It Sit And Lay,
That Pretty Little Dove I Loved,
I Let It Go In May,
I'd Love To It One More Time,
That Dove That Flew Away

Hello, she who joined just before I did and has not shown up until now. Here is your gift: mas_wink: mas_happy: mas_cool: mas_evil: :dreidel: :menorah: :frosty: :thumb: =D> #-o =P~ :^o [-X [-o< 8-[ [-( :-k ](*,) :whistle: O:) =; :sick: {|= :-$ :-s \:D/ :-# :hearts_eyes: :love: :lots_hearts:

Anyway, on to the poem. Someone needs to proofread. In the second line, Aay? I believe you meant Away. And I think there's a word missing in the second-to-last line. And in the third line. And the fourth line. They're all confuzzling.

It's a cute little poem. But please don't rhyme like this if you ever post a serious poem up here. Very few can pull off rhyming in a serious poem. Just a little advance warning.

Thanks for the advice

Having all the first letters of the words capitalized bothered me a lot. It seemed like a corny saying you find on cards, because of the rhyming. Like niteowl said, it's pretty hard to rhyme and still have a serious poem.

Yeah, the first letter of each word being capatalised looks tacky. The rhyme scheme wasn't great; it just added to the cliche aspect. You have an okay concept, just try to add some images and other poetic techniques to make it more original. Make it YOURS.

The capitalization of each word makes the poem feel very jerky to me, as if there isn't really a rhythm at all. It was a nice concept, buut it needs a lot of work.

Actually, I liked the capitalization. I liked the poem. Short and simple and sensible. Like it. Not everything needs to be a masterpiece. Remember that when you accept critique.

This was bland and relatively cliche.

I Let It Go In May,
I'd Love To It One More Time,

Those lines seemed rather awkward and a little forced. The poem didn't have much meaning to me and the capatilization at the beginning of every word was not overly annoying to me, but for some reason made me dislike the poem even more. It's just not one of your better works.

It was good. A bit confusing, even though it was pretty short and simple. But good.