Young Writers Society

My first poetry post on this site...let me know what you think.

These minutes that amble by slowly
Give me leisure to do the same
As I daydream of your arms,
My sleepy smile does not betray
The frenetic whirl of my thoughts
And so my fantasies are
Firmly ensconced in my mind
Where they will stay.

This has amazing potential. It is a bit crowded, in a sense - there are many words that sort of compress the meaning. But, all in all, I would not change a thing. It's beautiful and the imagery and the feelings I got from these few lines were completely amazing. Keep writing poetry!

I really enjoyed it. You took a small amount of simple lines and made them so much better with some great vocabulary and really good imagery.

Nice. It was good, but it needs a bit of punctuation, as it makes you rush through it if you don't. The last couple of lines sort of didn't fit, but good job.