It is a very beautiful poem. I suppose, it would be more or less, what good children would want their mothers to hear at their deathbeds or in their afterlives.
This poem was great, and the others on here who say they are not often impressed by poems on here, or are not truly struck by them are right. I know from experience, that if they give you a compliment they are really really impressed with your work, and think you are of a very high caliber.
I am the same way with poems. My reputation on here is one that some people have called a bit too blunt, but this poem I can say nothing bad about. Really. In all my experiences as a poet, playwright, novelist, and person who was seen his share of horrible things, I have rarely seen poems which touch me in ways this one does. It is simple, elegant, and brilliant all at once. I will be keeping my eye on you and your progress.
I really liked the poem. Especially the revelation at the end. I actually thought that it was your mother that had died not you. Your voice in it is really good. It is obvious you are a scared kid. I really loved realising that it was you that died(not that i hate you!haha). The minor details of who killed you or why the boys were shooting through your door and why the man came to tell you to leave irked me by the end because I really wanted to find out why. so maybe when your editing you can go over this. But great start. I really enjoyed it
Impossible is a word to be found in a dictionary of fools- M. Thatcher
Beautiful poem. I loved the way you showed that the mother does everything to protect her child even if that means that she'll loose her life in the process. I felt very reassured in the last line because it shows that the character has nothing to worry about.
Okay, first of all, who names their dinner? I don't want to know my dinner's name. This potato--is this potato named Steve? — Rick Riordan, The Sword of Summer
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Points: 954
Reviews: 10