Young Writers Society

I wrestle with my conscious,
Something doesn't seem right.
I feel like something's gone wrong,
Somewhere some how.

I look over at the clock,
It's two in the morning,
My heart's beating fast,
I can't even sleep.

Something's gone wrong,
I can't figure it out.
Someone must be dying,
Drowning in the sea.

I close my eyes shut,
They re-open quickly,
Conscious is killing me,
Something's gone wrong.

hey, nice. you really conveyed the mysterious feeling and that's what made the poem good. i liked your short stanzas and the way you wrote in present tense - it intensified the concept. well done.

very nice i liked that but not the "I close my eyes shut, They re-open quickly" part, even though it is small.
i like it overall though

I'm not a fan of this--at all. There are no images here. I do, however, like the bit after the line break.