Young Writers Society

Nothing can comprehend,
The pain they must feel,
All they ever had,
Washed away.

God’s power ruining their lives,
Whatever did they do wrong?
Honest people fighting to keep alive,
Countries so innocent.

Bodies upon the streets,
Their hands still reaching out,
Fear forever printed in their eyes,
Destruction their coffin.

We sit here and say 'oh how sad'.
But we will never know,
What it is to lose your life yet still live,
Their tears will never be rewarded.

To much fear to cry for their tears becoming yet another ocean of destruction ( changed line)

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This is for the people suffering from the sunarmi

hmm, pretty good but the last line sounds kind of like one of those PA ads on TV like, 'dont become another statistic- don't drink and drive' hahaha

It really brings home the sadness of it all, but you're right: we never will really know what it feels like unless we go through it ourselves. I agree with Faith; I don't like the last line either. The last two stanzas are my favorite, and in my opinion, the most moving.

Even though you can't really understand what they went through without going through it yourself, you really captured the sadness. I agree with someone (dont remember who...srry) that the last line needs to sound more in tune with the poem, not so much like an ad.

Overall, very good

Nikki

This isn't bad, but it didn't connect with me. The irony of you writing a poem about people dying and then saying "they will never understand" was obviously lost on you at the time. But really, don't dedicate your poems to thing. Don't get that mindset. You then restrict your creative talent, and I somehow I don't think that's what you were intending. Write with something in mind, but don't choose what it is, becaue you know you'll end up confining yourself to the boundaries of reality--something a writer should never do. Again, the poem wasn't bad, it just didn't have any pizzaz.

the most fascinating thing about this poem was the title...thats what reall caught my eye. other than that, i basically agree with brad though--aka Incandescence.

yeah but I'm saying whatever we say including me - we can never comprehend it.

Thank you for your comments.