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Young Writers Society


Music is Freedom



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245 Reviews


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Points: 15440
Reviews: 245
Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:07 pm
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creativityrules says...



Music.
Who can explain why this rhythmic magic carries us all away?
Not I.
But I can thank it
because it's saved me
from myself.

Music soothes me.
Creating it cleanses me.
It washes away the bad things
the bad thoughts
the anger I hold inside
the need to be heard.

I close my eyes
and listen to the world surrounding me.
And then, I shut it out
and let myself drift away
into the world of music
where I am free.

I'm the wind, rushing through the trees.
I'm the sea, crashing onto the shores.
I'm an eagle, soaring through the air.
I'm a summer day, full of possibilities.
But most of all, I'm free.
Music is freedom to me.
“...it's better to feel the ache inside me like demons scratching at my heart than it is to feel numb the way a dead body feels when you touch it."

-Brian James
  





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40 Reviews


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Reviews: 40
Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:08 pm
theLockedLibrary says...



First of all, welcome to YWS! Glad you could join us. =D (And) Yay! A music fan! I love music too, so naturally I was drawn to your title. I really enjoyed this piece, it was good and you made great points. It was simple, and yet it conveyed your message very well. Although, I advise that you explore more words so you'll be able to make your work more interesting. The other thing is that you forgot a lot of punctuation.


It washes away the bad things,
the bad thoughts,
the anger I hold inside,
the need to be heard.

Otherwise, good job. I'd love to read more of your work!
Reading is the sole means by which we slip,
involuntarily,
often helplessly,
into another's skin,
another's voice,
another's soul.
  





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9 Reviews


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Reviews: 9
Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:09 pm
Katlyn67 says...



This was a sweet poem! I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I love how you strucutred it and it had a great flow to it, even if the second line of the first verse was a bit too long. Anyways, I loved how you used music as a metaphor and for a simile. It was also cool to be describing it as an object of freedom, which was original.

Hoped that this piece of garbage review helps to merit you and distinguish you from other writers. Have a nice day!
  





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245 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 15440
Reviews: 245
Tue Aug 23, 2011 3:07 am
creativityrules says...



Thank you so much! I'm so happy that you liked what I wrote. It's awesome to have someplace to post my work where I can share it with other writers and get their input. I'm so excited that I found YWS!
“...it's better to feel the ache inside me like demons scratching at my heart than it is to feel numb the way a dead body feels when you touch it."

-Brian James
  





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8 Reviews


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Reviews: 8
Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:29 pm
Anchor says...



Hi I'm Kenzie and I'll be reviewing your lovely poem today. ^-^

First of all, I think that this is pretty good, I love the idea of it, however, I noticed some mistakes in punctuation, or parts where you could have added more.

Spoiler! :
creativityrules wrote:Music.
Who can explain why this rhythmic magic carries us all away? I stumbled a bit on this sentence, maybe it's just me. Maybe try shortening it? Not a big problem, I just had to read it twice.
Not I.
But I can thank it
because it's saved me
from myself.

Music soothes me.
Creating it cleanses me.
It washes away the bad things,
the bad thoughts,
the anger I hold inside,
the need to be heard.

I close my eyes
and listen to the world surrounding me.
And then, I shut it out
and let myself drift away
into the world of music
where I am free.

I'm the wind, rushing through the trees.
I'm the sea, crashing onto the shores.
I'm an eagle, soaring through the air.
I'm a summer day, full of possibilities.
But most of all, I'm free.
Music is freedom to me.


Nice job!

~Anchor
"You woke up this morning. That's more than
enough of a reason to appreciate your day."
- Austin Carlile
ღ
  





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14 Reviews


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Points: 1990
Reviews: 14
Wed Aug 24, 2011 7:21 pm
LooneyPandaxx says...



I really liked this piece as a hopeful music artist and thought the words really came from the heart. i thought there were no bad points to it! Its AWESOME!!! :D
  





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44 Reviews


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Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:49 am
TheCodex says...



I really like this poem, and can totally relate to it. Music IS freedom. My favorite stanza is the last one, it's got some great images. Nice work.
I'm a high functioning sociopath, do your research!
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"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."
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102 Reviews


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Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:07 am
katngo73 says...



I really like this poem. It's just the first stanza and the second line. it seems sort of awkward to have a really long line while the others are super short, don't you think? But otherwise, I'm luvin' it!!!

GREAT JOB AND KEEP WRITING!!!


~Kat
“There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t act a little childish sometimes.”-The Fourth Doctor
"Who I was, what I did, that's not who I am." - Castiel
"Friends protect you." - John Watson
  





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Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:01 pm
Deanie says...



Hey creativity!

I really like this poem. It is very easy to relate to and very true. Music is freedom and I don't think anyone knows or will know why ever. I can't see any faults in this and think it is great!

creativityrules wrote:Music is freedom to me.


I think this last line was a great summary and explained why you chose the title of your poem. The rest of your poem was equally good and I was eager to read if from the very first line :) Great job!

Deanie x
Trust in God and all else follows.

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Your username reminds me of a hotdog @Stegosaurus, 2015
Tried to make puns out of your username, but every attempt has been Deanied @Candywizard, 2015
  








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