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Young Writers Society


Unsafe Nights



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155 Reviews

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Gender: Male
Points: 2994
Reviews: 155
Tue Aug 30, 2011 5:03 am
Arcticus says...



as a child I used to wonder
why the night was feared
wasn't it the time the stars came out?
and the time for the cracked moon to reign?

my elders told me
that wallets are dearer to men
than the throats of their own brothers,
and knives their best friends.

I couldn't reason why
one had to live a life within boundaries
and not venture out in exploration,
at times like these.

I couldn't understand why
man couldn't live without hurting others
and not give in to material lust
in his short stay here.

my elders told me
that if desire was the root of evil
then impatience was the root of desire
which is born in faithless hearts.

and the night is the time for the vampires to come out.
They ambush all those who dare to walk by
and cage them in dungeons, torture them
then bury them in graves unmarked.

And suck the life out of all the innocence
then call it guilty through stained lips,
wagging their tongues in false worship
of gods weaker than a coward's heart

but it won't be long before the day breaks
and real warriors walk out in processions
with no weapon but unshaken faith
and chase the vampires to their coffins

lock them and throw them away
and make the nights safe for us
to dream and hope
for better days.
You either worship something higher than yourself or end up worshiping yourself

Naturally Tipsy ©
  





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41 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 1408
Reviews: 41
Tue Aug 30, 2011 7:31 am
AwesomeSocks says...



I love your writing. It never fails to be deep and descriptive!
One thing that irks me is your use of periods. It might flow better if you used commas, but that's just my opinion, since poems are so free :)
"and the night is the time for the vampires to come out." I love this comparison, and the parts that continue to the end.
I truly do wish Man didn't harm others. I loved the way in which you put this thought, and I always love reading your perspectives!
Please continue to write wonderful poetry or I will be very sad! :)
transmissions from space
  





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48 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1103
Reviews: 48
Tue Aug 30, 2011 12:43 pm
Rock n' Roll Queen says...



as a child I used to wonder
why the night was feared
wasn't it the time the stars came out?
and the time for the cracked moon to reign?


Talk about a slam dunk!! You had me at the very beginning. It was deep and profound and it only got better from there. Truly amazing.

Happy Writing!
"Music in the soul can be heard by the universe" -Lao-Tzu
  





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39 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 573
Reviews: 39
Mon Nov 21, 2011 9:19 am
HHemayed says...



:) It's one of the best. :)
Keep writing.
To be alive is not to breathe, eat or drink. It's your ability to prove your existence.
  








It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.
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