z

Young Writers Society


rockstars have no hearts



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321 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 321
Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:45 am
Liz says...



yes, total stranger, i resorted to attempting
telepathy two nights ago, when the silence
was cutting, unforgiving, threatening to
plunge my mind into insanity before long.

so i thought, a week and a half ago,
(when i was the naive me) that only one
short sharp polyphonic ear-splintering cry
would be sufficient and the rain could fall

in peace again. in peace.
but then TWO polyphonic cries echoed into
the lamenting silence and i could see
the banana yellow light shining off my face

into the deep blackness of the museum.
finally the air around me was hugging me
instead of biting and scratching. and then,
as suddenly as it had started, silence

grinned maliciously and clung to every. little.
particle. so i just hung onto the tiny bubble of
hope that i mysteriously always seem to own, though
i am sure my innocence is in jeopardy and it will

all be murdered. pity. so you left me in
a torturing emptiness that jangled my nerves
and tore apart my paper mind, even more
effectively than i could do myself.

so now musk pink lipstick beckons like never
before. and short black coffee mascara draws
a halo around itself so although the prospect's looking
bleak, it can be concealed and disguised convincingly.
written: friday 23rd april 2004, 9:12pm.
purple sneakers
  





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665 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6165
Reviews: 665
Wed Jan 19, 2005 3:56 pm
Chevy says...



Well, first of all, I can't see how this could possibly have anything to do with rockstars having no hearts...second of all, I don't really see how this could possibly be a poem. Sure it has the stanzas and things that a poem has but there were so many odd parts, I don't think I could fully understand without it all being together in one paragraph. For instance:
i am sure my innocence is in jeopardy and it will

all be murdered. pity. so you left me in

Even though divided into two stanzas, this really should be combined, I mean, it's obvious it's one sentence.
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.
  








I drink tea and forget the world's noises.
— Chinese saying