Young Writers Society

I cannot help but wonder
If I made the right decision
And if I knew then what I know now
Would things be different?
How?

One thing I do know for sure
Is that I deeply regret what I did
Stupid, naïve, silly kid
What did you do that for?

But yet, had I have said what I did not
Would you now be to me who you are?
Would I be me?
And would you see
The side of me that you do not

I’ve pained myself for hours on end
With what-ifs and maybe-nots
Thinking perhaps just maybe you might
Have given me that fifteenth shot

If perchance I’d said what I should have
If I’d been not-quite-so shallow
Would it still be?
And could you be
That of mine,
forevermore.

This is a really good piece of writing and it's a decent piece of free verse. =]

No, it's not too wordy. I don't think a poem can be too wordy as long as the feeling and point get across.

I think you are talented and you should post some more poetry. =] I'll be reading some of your other work too. =]

Good job.

-pol;

That's a great poem! Well done!

However, I think the beginning of the 3rd stanza doesn't flow as nicely as the others.
''But yet, had I have said what I did not
Would you now be to me who you are?''
So maybe you could think of different ways to word it?

Apart from that I love the originality and the questions within the poem, I feel it really grabs our attention!
Keep it up!

We all have that feeling of remorse when we are at both our highest and lowest peaks. I'd reccomend working on the flow a little bit more; but there is an overall presence of feeling in it. I enjoyed it. Not wordy by the way. It's juuuuuust right.