Young Writers Society

At the dawn of my life,
Kicking my limbs to the invisible monster,
I saw the morning smile of the sky’s roaster
That was thirteen years before
Still he smiles at me more and more.I love the language you use in this first stanza.

Life doesn’t always bear fruit
It has bitterness at its root
Sitting under the mango tree
I feel my inner meI like how you keep a good rhythm, rhyme everything, and you are still able to create such vivid imagery.

I feel the caring touch of my mother
As my arms feel the slither of the featherThis line doesn't flow as well with the rest of the poem.
The smell of jasmine flowers
Makes my heart flow with happiness

Every morning, watching the sunrise
Brings new rhymes even from the squeaking mice
Seeing the horse’s care for its mare
Wanting to see the seven coloured bow without an arrow

Enjoying the cries of the crow
The songs of the nightingale
And the earth’s beautiful tale
Doesn’t fail to ignite in me
That my brain is the key
To see the good out of bad
To see the smile out of sadGreat line. Bravo.

Person without the time to admire our mother
Is like a cattle without fodder
Who die out slowly
A soul where death is to glee
To live life to the full
Abide the rule:
Keep admiring nature