Young Writers Society

*This is a poem that I just finished writing and it is about what I'm feeling about the things that are happening in my life right now. It seems incoherent when I looked at it in an objective viewpoint but I hope it's not incoherent for you guys. xD

Hi there Whispibey.

This is one amazing poem. I love the subject you're bringing us, and I'm sure a lot of people can relate to it greatly. At least one in our lives we feel like these, I'm pretty sure. xD Also, I love the imagery you created, made me imagine some pretty neat scene. xD

But talking about the topic, I think maybe some things aren't meant to be understood, some questions don't have an answer. But remember that 'society' knows what normal is, but they aren't necessarily right, and weather if your conclusions, points of view, or opinions (about whatever the situation is) are different, they aren't necessarily wrong. Just different. Lol ^_^<3

So, you soldier on, kay? But at the same time pray for enlightenment and wisdom, and don't worry much 'bout anything. "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done." ~Philippians 4:6

Lovely ending, by the way. Great writing! ^_^

~Solly<3

hello there ,
Seems like you requested a review ... and a review you shall get!
Hee hee
Lorna
xx

Questions in the Darkness

Why talk
when nobody would listen,
when nobody would care, I Like these 3 first lines ... as they create a perfect image in my mind of what this poem shall therefore be about... They make me want to keep on reading!
when they’d simply misinterpret the things you’d say?

Why listen
when they won’t when you speak, This line seemed a little out of place for me ... I would personally change this to " When they won't do the same" ... The way you say "When they won't " and then say "when you speak" ... Just doesn't fit in ... The reason being that you have already created the feeling of you trying to speak.
when they’d get angry when you rationalize,
when they insist that you’re the one who has to realize?

Why…
Why be happy
when your joy is their frustration?
Why go rest
when you’ll always feel exhaustion? I rather looove these lines ... Usually the short and long lines mixed just doesn't sound right .. but you have wrote it in a way that makes perfect sense! Well Done!! ;3

…
This is a dark night.
I hope that at the end of the tunnel, there would be light.
Heck, they say that there always is. Okay then ... I get to these last verses and kid of spot something! ... You don't need these comma's ... (The ones highlighted in red)

Maybe, I just couldn’t see the moon when I entered the tunnel.
Maybe, I shouldn’t worry that there’d still be darkness at the end.
Perhaps, I’d see the moon when I finally come out.
If that happens, then there really is light.

I walk here through the tunnel; the darkness has me blind.
I hope that, in my silence, an answer I would find.

Hope this helps! xx

Hi Whisperer,

This poem is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. I have no complaints, every word and line fit perfectly and it was very touching. I feel the same way all the time. At it truely was just a gorgeous poem. Keep writing.

This is very nice, keep it up
welll done.