Young Writers Society

Everything I did,
It was always wrong to you.
I never asked for you to care,
because I know it would lead to a fight.
But now I am taking my stand,
so I can actually sleep at night.
I want you to know I tried,
but for you there is just no way.
I know you'd never be happy,
with me for a day.
I am saying my last goodbye,
to run away from my biggest fear.
So goodbye my love,
and last you need to know.
If to make you happy I must be sad,
then all you should need is yourself.
For I will no longer stand it,
and niether will any one else.

Hope you enjoyed!

Hello there!

Welcome to YWS! My writing has improved so much since I first joined, and there are so many excellent writers and people here! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. That being said, on to the poem!

The topic of your poem is one that's been done many times before. I've written poems about what you're writing about, and I know quite a few other writers who have as well. I'm not saying that it's a bad topic to write about, but I am saying that when you do write about it, it needs to be special. On further works, I wold love it if you stopped for a moment and thought about how to make your writing exceptional, out of the box, and especially different from what other people are writing. I want to know how your story is special compared to the hundreds of other ones out there.

What you wrote is actually fairly good. However, I couldn't find any special words in it. Basically, you told your story in a way it's been told before. I'm not saying that it wasn't heartfelt; I'm simply saying that as a piece of writing, I wish that it would've been more extraordinary.

Always remember that as long as you like your work, it doesn't matter what I or anybody else in the world thinks. At the end of the day, you're the one who must be content with it. If you love it, don't change a thing.

Alway keep writing!

-Rose

Right before writing my review I looked at the one creativityrules gave, and she is so right. YWS is amazing for turning yourself from "just another writer" to gaining your own style and technique. This poem isn't bad (oh, god, you should've seen my first works on this site, they were terrible!) but as creativity said when you're talking about something so commonplace it's really got to have it's own spin. The idea's a little dry and overdone, but that's not to say the poem or the writing is bad, in fact it's a really solid start. The trick to finding your place on this site and in the writer's world in general definitely seems to step outside the box and expand your comfort zone. Believe me, no one here will bash your head in for being just a little bit insane. So go for it!
Welcome to the site, hope you stick around, and keep writing,
StoryWeaver