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Can't say that I love you



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Sun Dec 04, 2011 8:03 pm
dogs says...



So this is a modification off of the Disney song "I won't say I'm in love". So I basically did the same thing with some slight variation and in the lines on the left i added in 9,8,9,10. And on the lines on the right i did 6, 8, 6, 8. So that with rhyming took a really long time to do lol. Anyways this poem really is not very good at all and i don't know how to make it any better. Well enjoy!!!!!!!

I thought my heart had learned its lesson,
from my terrible selection.
No man is worth the inconvenience.
Gotta find something with much more salience.

Who'd' you think you're fooling
He's the perfect person for you!
Girl, this is so grueling
He's the earth and heaven to you!


No chance, no way, I've watched them all go.
He's just the same, all this I know.
But in the end he'll just run away.
I won't say I'm in love, it's too cliche.

Why'd' you keep on lying
He will worship you every day.
Please just stop your crying,
trust me this scene is gonna play.


Why can't you see I've just been defaced.
I just don't care, get off my case.
Too much pain I don't want to repeat.
But when he smiles my heart skips a beat.

Who'd' you think your kiddin'
Why would you keep fighting all this?
Can't keep it all hidden.
Fall before it all goes amiss.


At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love


TuckEr EllsworTh :smt032
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Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:24 pm
crazedasian1 says...



I really really enjoyed reading this. I especially love the format you wrote it in. It catches the eye and makes the poem more enjoyable and fun.
We can aspire to anything, but we don't get it just 'cause we want it.' I would rather spend my life close to the birds than waste it wishing I had wings.
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Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:28 pm
StoryWeaver13 says...



I looove that Disney song! But you know, your version's pretty stellar too. Definitely cute, I love doing stuff like this and it's always interesting to see what people come up with. The rhyme scheme of this, I believe, is kind of different from the actual song's, and that threw me off a little bit, but I still like this a lot.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver13
Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another. ~Lemony Snicket
  





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Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:33 am
ladymarmalade says...



Wow, this is AMAZING! This song has always been on the repeat on my Ipod! (Sad, yes I know I have Disney songs on my Ipod) It was artfully created and in some ways I almost like it better than the original. The flow was very sing-songy but also complicated and clever. Keep up the great work! (:
  





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Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:34 pm
murtuza says...



Dogs!

I like this piece a lot! And I'm sorry for being such a Disney noob, but I haven't the song yet. Dx

Though it does read really well and I tried putting a tune to it and it sounded really great :D
It's cute and charming and based off something that is endearing to its listeners. Great job, Dogs. You've done me proud. Now keep the ink flowing!

Murtuza
:)
It's not about the weight of what's spoken.
It's about being heard.
  





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Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:40 pm
AliyahPillage says...



I love how you used a different pattern on both sides
left i added in 9,8,9,10. And on the lines on the right i did 6, 8, 6, 8

I love the syllable pattern, it just made me want to read it even more.
Great job.
Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Jessicarlie Love
  








Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
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