Young Writers Society

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I’d rather be friends with you

than love anyone else.

I’d rather just chat with you

than emote to anyone else.

I love to see you; even your face

is fun and honest and bright.

I like to hear you talking;

you're always so full of life.

You're something fresh and new

I think about you sometimes

I know I get teased about you

by some, but I don’t mind.

We’re friends. Really friends.

Sometimes we talk for hours;

And then I find myself wishing

The hours wouldn't end!

I like you. Maybe the reason I like you is

because you seem to like me.

You’re kind, smart and considerate

and live enthusiastically

I love how you throw yourself into things.

You do funny things with your time.

Who plays the ukulele? Who looks up how

to solve a Rubik’s Cube in record time?

But I love to watch you.

You get so involved!

I’m interested in you,

when you’re interested in what you love.

You don’t mind what people think;

you only laugh at poisonous talk.

You’re so good-natured yourself

you like it when the monkeys gawk.

You’ve been through some hard times too,

but you bear it well

You smile bravely at the world

and I think you always will.

We disagree sometimes

but you make me smile when we do

I like you even better then;

I like to laugh with you.

I’d rather be laughed at by you

than respected by anyone else;

I’d rather be friends with you

than love anyone else.

Hey Elizabeth! Oh man Elizabeth is a long word.... how about liz or eliza or just beth? Beth? i love the name beth! Can i call you beth? Pleassseeeee! Anyways dogs here for your review today. So this is a great piece, i really like the topic. I mean how many times do you read a poem about someone choosing friendship over love? Not very often so kudos to you for choosing such a unique topic. You really captured great emotion in this poem which can be very hard to do. You told us your reasoning very well and it backed it all up for the reason why you would rather have friendship then love. My absolute favorite line is right here:

"I'd rather just chat with you
Than emote to anyone else."

Than emote to anyone else. I loved that line i had to read it again! Strong words and great vocab there i really liked it. Now you had great words and everything but you used a lot of common everyday words a lot in the poem. Because you're not focusing on rhyming use stronger vocab always will strengthen your work! Especially in a poem formatted in this way you need the better vocab to leave a bigger impact on the reader. If you are having troubles expanding your vocab i suggest you look up a simple word in a thesaurus and choose a different word from that list. I do this all the time and trust me, it make your poetry so much better.

Anyways great job! Keep up the good work!!!!


TuckEr EllsworTh

Hello, Darcy! I'm Rose, and I'll be reviewing this piece today.

Overall, this is an amazing poem. The subject is definitely my favorite part of the entire thing; good friends are irreplaceable, aren't they? Nobody can put a price on a good friend, someone that's there with you through it all, and sometimes someone that just makes you laugh.

Who plays the ukulele? Who looks up how

to solve a Rubik’s Cube in record time?

This is hilarious. I actually play the ukelele, and it makes my friends laugh. The funny thing is, I'm such a wierd person that they weren't even surprised when I first got one! They're just like, "Oh, dear..." and that was that. I love this because it's very believable and, in my opinion, quite charming.

One thing I would change about this piece is its capitalization. Remember, if you wouldn't capitalize a word if it was in normal sentence format, then don't capitalize it in a poem. Yes, I know that all poems can't be capitalized in the same ways as normal writing because, well, poems aren't normal writing, but in most poems, and especially free verse poems like this one, it's not hard to do. Capitalizing incorrectly brings the reader's attention off of what you are writing and on to the capitalization; you don't want anything to distract readers from what you're trying to say. If I were you, I'd take a few minutes to go back over this and capitalize it corrrectly.

All in all, wonderful piece! I look forward to seeing what you come up with next!

Always keep writing!

-Rose

Hey Beth! So as I read this over i begin to realize more and more that it isn't what you are trying to replace but more so what you are missing. For example, in my opinion, i think you are missing some more imagery and personification and strong language. So for example, more description of something! like when you say:

"you only laugh when they talk"

Try to go deeper into "when they talk" for example "when they talk/ with their poison tongues" or something like that.

"You like it when they gawk"

This is a good line, maybe you could add in something like "You like it when they gawk/ like (insert adjective) (Insert animal)" Just throwing out ideas.

"I love to see and hear you"

You could try describing what he sounds like or what he looks like. Focus on his voice and pick out the "cutest' or your "favorite" thing about his voice and write about it.

"We could talk for days without end"

Just a suggestion...: "We could talk for forever/ And forever would never end"

Now. What I am worried about happening is that if you add in all of this personification and description it might take away from the excellence in just the plain simplicity of this piece. This is entirely up to you of course, what i do sometimes in a poem of mine is that i try writing it in two different ways or styles or whatnot and try applying each to your writing and then choose which i like the most. Or if i like them both i'll keep them both. (I have a poetry book so this is basically how i think everything out lol) Anyways, do what you think best, this is your piece of poetry and it is entirely up to you what you want to do with it. If you want you can keep this the same and then on your next poem try writing more imaginative and what not. Well anyways keep up the good work and good luck!


TuckEr EllsworTh

Have to say, I LOVED this =) While I'm 14, I have never had any interest in a crush or boyfriend, and I'm fine with that. In fact, most of my peers want nothing to do with me, so all of my best friends are over 30. So yeah, I could be saying this poem to anyone of my friends =)

Anyways, like I said before, I really loved your poem. It was very nicely done, especially since this topic isn't broached all that much.

I like how you repeated the first two lines at the end; it drew the poem to a close very nicely =)

Keep it up!

~The Scratt

I love this poems so much, it is so true for most best friends and it almost made me cry just because it's so happy and true.