Young Writers Society

There is
Pushing and wanting, and then
There is
Simply wanting.


Ghosts with flesh
Decorate themselves
With wooden eyes
And push away cities
While wandering city streets
For winterless blankets.
Solid ghosts want to rest in snow
because
Hypothermia is safe.
Hypothermia doesn't forgive.
Hypothermia smoothes out
The screwed knots inside them.



people don't see the difference.
people grab air.
people keep what all they know.

I grab blank pages and hold on
to what I know,
and I listen:
a mother yells,
'keep that cliched angst out of the house!'
as she throws heavy words out the door.



The real girls let others
Take the needle and thread
When they are brave with lucid fear.
They find futures,
Ways to age and wrinkle
And sing with closed mouths.
They want a teacher to show them this life,
How to steadily stand on stilts.
These girls want and want and want

To keep out the guilt while knowing
They are not innocent

To stretch out sore muscles
And hunch over littered desks

To know what's enough and accept
That they never could be enough.

These girls want to want something
That won't push them into those cheating wells.


I sigh and frown until my forehead almost cracks
Because my vacant words frustrate me
And even that can't seem to fill them.

Hello,

Darling, seems like a story to me. One thing:

Pushing and wanting--
The opposite of
Want and wanting.

Wanting is not the opposite of wanting.

Farewell,
-A.

Hey Bird! Dogs here with your second reivew of the day from me WOO HOOO!!!!!! Firstly i would like to point out that this is an excellent poem! In my personal opinion, it is a huge step forward from your other poem. I really really realllly like this one! Such strong imagery, such strong words! I really like how you use this formatting you put your poem in and you make the "choppiness" of this style of formatting really work well to your poem. This poem is sooo imaginitive. excessivly so which is what i love in poems in general. Excessivly imaginitive based poems are so strong in my opinion. You also use great, strong, emotion in here as well so props to you on that one.

Although this poem is so fantastic, it seems like a poem that only the writer would fully understand. Which is difficult for the reader sometimes. I don't suggest at all you change anything in the poem but rather that you add in a foot note or spoiler about what this poem is actually about and what inspired you to write this. That would make so much more sense to the reader in understanding and following the poem.

Apart from that I have no critisism (sorry my spell check isn't working and I don't know how to spell critizism or whatever lol). Please keep up the good work! I expect to see great pieces for poetry from you!!!


TuckEr EllsworTh

Wow. I love this poem. *clicks like* I couldn't find anything that needed changing, other than what the others said, so I shall just praise! My favorite parts: (Oh, I did find something!)

Hypothermia is safe.
Hypothermia doesn't forgive.
Hypothermia smooths out
The screwed knots inside them.

I grab blank pages and hold on
to what I know,
and I listen:
a mother yells,
'keep that cliched angst out of the house!'
as she throws heavy words out the door.

I can't tell you how many times I've felt like this. This may be only what a writer could understand.

Never stop writing!