Young Writers Society

heyy Anwesha! its a pretty good poem you wrote and it actually tells what love means to you. I guess it will be quite good if you write more in your stanzas ( paragraphs) just two sentences cant make an actual poem. I guess you are understanding me please dont mistake me and in fact, its a good idea of writing about the topic of love and I liked your rhymings it was good hope you good even more good ideas like this!

Hi Anwesha!

I loved this poem. It was short, simple and sweet. The title fitted the poem perfectly. The rhyme was controlled and flowed very well without any bumps in the road. I have to say that I would've like it more if you joined the two sentences to another to to make four lines = stanza. I think it would be a better layout and more of a poetic form, if you know what I mean?

But other than that I don't think there is anything wrong with this poem and I think it is a wonderful piece. My favourite verse is:

Anwesha wrote:It’s the kind of love between you and me.
It’s the love that will remain for eternity.

That is a really cute summary to the whole poem and it leaves me feeling very satisfied. I don't think you left anything out in the poem and I love all the beautiful metaphors you used.

Deanie x

I like the poem one thing I found though

It soothes your senses if you’ve worked too hard.It never falters in showing you the path

this is the only stanza that doesn't have a rhyme in it while all of the others do, it doesn't make sense to have every stanza rhyming except for one.
Other than that it was good though, keep writing like this.

Hey, Anwesha!

I really like the simplicity and the structure of this poem. It's sweet in it's message and sheds light on the magical personality that love and affection show. The start of every stanza with 'It's...' is a really nice touch. Makes everything fall into place.

All in all, a wonderful poem with nice rhyme and good context. Keep the ink flowing!

Murtuza

i really like that it doesn't fully rhyme. It shows creativity and ingenuity on your part to make it flow like that without making it rhyme. I like the last stanza. this was kick...butt

Haha! Yay! I love the message here. Eternity will be grand, eh? Also, I totally read it in a religious way, as opposed to a romantic way, although I suppose it can be read in either fashion! I just mentioned that, just in case you wanted to know how your poem was being interpreted.

Anyway, I thought that the non-rhyming line was a bit weird, actually. It's in the middle, and I can't really see any reason to break the rhyme, other than that "path" might be hard to rhyme. But, your choice as always!

Heys,

I like what you’re doing with the rhyme here, you might want to tidy that up so that it’s a more solid rhyme, consistent. When you have inconsistent rhymes it becomes awkward for your reader to feel the rhythm of your lines. I also think you might want to consider making these stanzas rather than couplets, they would be stronger in a four line stanza rather than the short bursts they’re in at the moment. The short bursts mean we don’t connect so well with the overall theme your poem is running, I think you could easily alter that so the lines have a bit more punctuation that lead from line to line.

The repetition gets to me, but I think some people will love that and that will work. It’s a good poem, but the suggestions I have above stand. If you have any questions, feel free to hit me up.

-Penguin.

Heyy! I really liked your poem. i loved that you made them rhymh, it gives it a nce soft flow. it shows what love means to you and i adore the last two stanzas! Good Job!

To start off, all of your lines begin with 'it' or 'it's'. Delete it all. Get rid of that repetitive beginning, it takes away the substance of the raw emotion at the core of poetry.

Anwesha wrote:It’s the kind of love that knows no bars,
And makes you believe in all that you are.
It makes you feel at the top of the world,
And gives you courage when you’re in a whirl.

So for example, rather than what you have above, maybe change it to...
"The kind of love that knows no bars,
Makes you believe in all that you are.
To feel your feet touch the top of the world,
Gives you courage when you're in a whirl."
See how much different that sounds, and all we did was take away the 'it's and switch some words around!
Other than that, this was truly a lovely poem and a pleasure to read. Keep writing!

I Like this, I really, really Like this.

You're right about what you said, love is eternity. I think that you did greatly in this here poem because you made something out of too not-so-far ideas but made proper coherency and connected them properly. The over-all work is quite AWEstanding and I completely love your theme and main concept: that love is eternal, if it isn't, it ain't love...

The first stanza is very emotional. It is perfect because it introduced your poem perfectly. The last stanza is very fantastical! Creatively written and emotional! I think you put a lot there! My only concern is the second stanza because it was to literal and yet the rest of the piece is very figurative. Try to check on that.

Thanks for a great read!
Al