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Young Writers Society


Wait 'til Time Sparks



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308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:09 am
AlfredSymon says...



Her
She is gone. She's not here, anymore. And now, I see all the love letters I wrote for her, but never tried to give her. Why? Why didn't I? Now, she would never have a chance to read them. Never at all. T'is the last letter for her. My final ballad for Her...

Wait ‘til time sparks,
Its emery crackles and embers,
And grab on to your dreamscapes
As the night will take you away
Be it somewhere out there.

Ride past’s days,
Say farewell to present’s hour
And greet future’s fading caress.

Yes, time flows
In a river of tears,
In the flicker of candlelight,
In the arms of flowers,
In the words of your beloved,
Seconds are drowning, my love.
For I know you are ready to leave,
We are not prepared
For your goodbye
But He calls you.

Every day,
You are where you should be,
He eyes you carefully,
And now, He calls you.
Hear him say your name.

Sleep soundly on His careful arms.
He lulls you to deep slumber,
The song, same to your
Sweet symphony
Of what fate had given you.
My dear,
Sleep soundly,
Hush...

Blow the candles out,
I know we’ll be alright
I know we’ll never be alone
I know you will see the light.


Wait ‘til time sparks again.

- To my love, sleep soundly. Farewell...
Last edited by AlfredSymon on Thu Dec 29, 2011 10:55 am, edited 5 times in total.
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88 Reviews



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Reviews: 88
Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:17 am
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hudz96 says...



AWWWWWWWWWWW that was the most heart-felt and adorable poem i have ever read... so far :D
I loved every single piece of it, seriously amazing. :D SEE you should have made your other poem a little more like this amazing one!!!

Its beautiful really.
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Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:12 pm
dogs says...



Hey Alfredsy! Dogs here with your review today! This piece... is so fantastic! I love this entire topic, you gave a "love letter" a new meaning with this completely new and original piece of poetry. I love this soooooo much, you even incorporated my favorite topic into here, time. The impossible abstraction to represent in words, or so it was thought because you just proved that theory wrong. I love the imagery, I love the description, I love the everything about this!

My absolutely favorite part is all of your metaphors and personifications you use with time and sleeping. They make your poem so much stronger! I don't "like" too many pieces of poetry but you really deserved it here. I really have nothing to critique here it is so fantastic.

My friend, keep up the good work!


TuckEr EllsworTh :smt032
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Wed Dec 14, 2011 10:07 pm
SwallowedByInsanity says...



Wow. and this, this my dear, is why I am following you hahaha xD
This was beautiful and heartfelt, like all of your soul spilled on the paper along with pen and ink. I have no edits to suggest to you, so I suppose there isn't really anything left to say except how much I enjoyed reading this. Very lighthearted and lovely, it contained depth and the bolding of certain phrases definitely added emphasis! Keep writing (:
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Sat Dec 17, 2011 7:29 pm
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catslikebooks2 says...



oh my. that is. So....saddening. This piece is so passionate, in a subdued way, it's not fiery, more like candle light. I love all the metaphors you use, and I love the texture of this piece, so...soft, like a caress. This piece is making me talk in similes and metaphors, a piece is always amazing if it can ignite the creativity of a read as well! And this bolded part:
alfredsymon wrote:I know we’ll be alright
I know we’ll never be alone
I know you will see the light.


It sounds like a whisper in my head. And it make me tear up. You're a fantastic writer! A true word wizard!
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308 Reviews



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Reviews: 308
Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:24 am
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AlfredSymon says...



Thanks everyone! This is one of my most favored poems, glad you liked it!
Need some feed? Then read some! Take a look at today's Squills at In the News.

The Tatterdemalion takes a tattle!

"Stories are like yarn; just hold on to the tip and let the ball roll away"
  








Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
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