Young Writers Society

Listen closely, my beloved, and shut your eyes for now.
Don't be afraid. I just can't let you see me; I'm too frightening.
I don't want you to be frightened.
And I don't have long to speak.

You're still afraid.
Oh, please, listen to me.
Let me tell you.

You're so pretty in your pain. Soon after I died, honey, I realised why.
Your heart is in trouble, because you carry more than one.
There are multiple amounts of heart and soul within you, glinting silver beneath the surface. It's what makes you so pretty. It makes you shine. You feel.

Please,
Stop being scared.
There is not enough time to be scared. Listen to me.

You're precious and innocent, and your blood has been dying to touch the surface for fifteen years, but your blood still lacks something that every angel needs.
Peace.

Your pulse is pounding, and you might have time to stop it before you waste it. You're untouched, and the moment something touches you, you will get sick like the rest of us. Use your huge heart well, before it ruptures and shrivels away.

I'll be watching your every move, every minute of every day, but please don't be afraid when I tell you that I'll be down in hell.

Heaven does not exist within rainclouds, unless there is something to make the rainclouds shine.

You still don't know who I am, but I hope that you can hear me still. Time is running out.
Soul.
Heart.
Where did my heart go?
You took it away. Use it well.

There is still not enough time fluttering throughout my dead body. There is never enough time. Have you noticed?
I don't have long to stay here, with you, but I'm always fluttering throughout your soul, anyway.
I heard you, when you told me that I was missing from your life. I can't come back. Know that eternally, you'll be missing from my death.

Darling, live, live, live and stop running so far away. Don't go too far into the distance. Make sure that you can be found again. Don't lose yourself. Don't lose your mind.

Listen to me, the voice inside of your head, as I tell you that I love you, even though I'm cold and dead and you can't hear me.
Let it mean something.

this is really good. The only thing i was confused about was, is there two people or just one? i noticed that because you had two diffrent styles of text.

Yes I agree with the person who commented before me about that confusion. But this poem is really beautifully written, it's almost like a song with the way it flows and the imagery is immaculate. I really don't have much to criticize, in all honesty I absolutely loved the piece in it's entirety. Keep writing!

I simply love it!

It says so much of how love can always be there for us. It's some quite of love story and also a poem. Just wondering about how long your verses where. I think you can cut it into smaller fragments for effect.

Still, I hope for more works from you!

Happily said,
Al