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Young Writers Society


and that's okay, in a way



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489 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 17895
Reviews: 489
Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:01 am
Dreamwalker says...



When the colour runs and fades to grey,
into languid motions we seep away
and these lashing tongues, we speak
for what we cannot know,
and we cannot know.

With broken branches we build our bridges
and we tie our rafts with strings of words --
making up the world in which
we cannot see, dear,
and we shouldn’t be.

You who sketches in black and white,
and I who paints in red and blue,
leave tepid marks on each other’s skin
where the sound of our souls carry
on the back of every breath never exhaled.
The darkness tells me an ending’s coming
and the light you hate is shining through;
unpredictable as we are.

For you who lacks the spectrum of passion
sees the need for pity in the mixed pigments
of my naivety.
And I see the flesh of your lips, a tinted blush
so far from the empty lifeless white
of your mind.

And maybe, that’s okay
in a way.

~~

Spoiler! :
This one sort of stings around the edges, I think. A little too revealing.

Anyways, this is dedicated to someone I'll never know. Good night, YWS.
Last edited by Dreamwalker on Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
Suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads, that the heart has been chained and dunked in a glass booth filled with river water. The heart is monologuing about hesitation and fulfillment while behind the red brocade the heart is drowning. - R.S
  





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336 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 805
Reviews: 336
Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:38 am
Jas says...



This gets a little wordy in the middle, but I love the ending. I'll be back to review this probably Thursday, at most the weekend. :]
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~
  





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Points: 1259
Reviews: 13
Tue Dec 13, 2011 4:58 am
Ad1la3tt3n says...



this peom Is so deep I was worried I'd get lost in it. how personal it is, is what makes it so lovely, It paints a sad, dark, yet beautiful image I can't get out of my head, your flow captures me and make me think... I'd go on but I don't think I could never explain it well enough, so i'll leave you with one last word: Beautiful...
"Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all."
--- Hypatia of Alexandria
"It would be better not to know so many things than to know so many things that are not so"
---Josh Billings
  





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139 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6358
Reviews: 139
Wed Dec 14, 2011 2:46 am
SwallowedByInsanity says...



Lovely. It flowed together like the words of a love song... and yes i know it twas not about love but still! It had the same sort of passion that goes into a love song, did it not? It put an image in my mind like rainbows and colorful flows in a field that slowly are stripped of their colors and turn grey and musky. This was beautifully written and I'm eager to see what else you have written. Keep writing!
Love is a poison, but it is also the antidote.

The insanity at my fingertips is not even slightly coherent.
  








Uh, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Just like that rainforest scare a few years back: our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?
— Homer Simpson