Young Writers Society

[Here's a love poem I stumbled across the other day that I wrote a couple of years back. It's essentially still the same despite a few small changes in content that I just threw in. Hope you enjoy it YWS. I'm am definitely looking to hear what you liked, disliked, and what can possibly be improved

Reflecting On Our Past, Anticipating Our Future

I've spent a lot of time thinking about all of the things we've been through.
The more I think, the more it remains clear that I'd go through anything with you.

You have the ability to elate me when everything is going wrong.
You inspire me to write love poems and sing giddy love songs.
I know for a fact that it's with you I belong.

Times are not always easy, but some times are undoubtedly great.
You give me an impending smile and a glow that I could never fake.

We have had days when things were looking rough.
People have tried their hardest to break us.
But it has really been a plus that we've had to deal with such
Because we've gained a lot of trust.

All of my problems slowly drift away when you hold me in your arms.
You complete me with your love, your smile, and your charm.

I still get butterfiles in my stomach at the thought of seeing you.
It's like an everlasting puppy love that's too good to be true.

I've never had anything close to the love we have.
I know that with prayer and patience, we can make this last.

At times, you're the only thing that makes sense in my life.
I dream about the day that I become your wife.

You disregard my flaws and help me to see beauty within myself.
I simply can't imagine embracing life with anyone else.

My heart, love, and happiness all stir up together whenever we hold hands.
In my soul, I just want to love you and be the best other half that I can.

I look to your support and those warm feelings I get from your hug.
I'm drowning in, tangled in, and all wrapped up in your love.

I pray that you understand how much you mean to me.
I pray that our love can illuminate for the whole world to see.

These feelings are so real. This love is forever.
This is just the start of our beautiful future together.

If we pray our way through it, we can get through whatever.
The best part about hard times is knowing things always get better.

Dedicated to A.A.M <3

_SerenityAmour_

Amazing! I had to start off with that, cause it's true. You wrote an amazing lyric. I loved reading it, and I bet you loved writing it. How old were you when you wrote this? No matter, really, cause whether you wrote it at... 16 or 8, it was wonderful. I tried to write poetry earlier, and I'm terrible at it. You are the exact opposite. The only problem I had with this, was the size of the stanzas, they kept changing at the beginning. From two lines, to three, to back to two, to four. But, that is my only complaint, and it's not all that important really. You are an incredible writer, and you should continue what you do. Keep writing, and may the Force be with you.

What a beautiful peom! I loved it! The only thing I would change is the second line:

SerenityAmour wrote:The more I think, the more it remains clear that I'd go through anything with you.

I would suggest you change this line to something more like this: "The more I think, the more it remains clear that I'd do anything for you"
Other then that, it was great!
I have to ask, is this a poem about you and a boyfriend? Have you become his wife?
I look forward to reading future works of yours

JudyG710 wrote:Amazing! I had to start off with that, cause it's true. You wrote an amazing lyric. I loved reading it, and I bet you loved writing it. How old were you when you wrote this? No matter, really, cause whether you wrote it at... 16 or 8, it was wonderful. I tried to write poetry earlier, and I'm terrible at it. You are the exact opposite. The only problem I had with this, was the size of the stanzas, they kept changing at the beginning. From two lines, to three, to back to two, to four. But, that is my only complaint, and it's not all that important really. You are an incredible writer, and you should continue what you do. Keep writing, and may the Force be with you.

Hey,

Thank you so much for your wonderful review, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I wrote this when I was a sophmore in high school, so age 15. I will review the stanzas, because I do think they're very important. Thank you again!

Blessings!

samii27 wrote:What a beautiful peom! I loved it! The only thing I would change is the second line:

SerenityAmour wrote:The more I think, the more it remains clear that I'd go through anything with you.

I would suggest you change this line to something more like this: "The more I think, the more it remains clear that I'd do anything for you"
Other then that, it was great!
I have to ask, is this a poem about you and a boyfriend? Have you become his wife?
I look forward to reading future works of yours

Hey,

Thank you for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I will look back into that second line! This poem is about my boyfriend and I. We just had our 4th year anniversary about a week ago! (Yay!) I hope to read some of your works soon!

Blessings!