Young Writers Society

Sunset settling on the clouds,
Of sadistic lies,
The drum beat accompanying,
My tears as they bleed.

Pieces of me falling apart,
The words you used to glue me together,
Becoming unwritten,
Vines of lies holding my heart.

There you are in the mirror,
On the floor in the window,
Every where I look you remain to be,
Clutching at every memory I have.

I just want to close my eyes to sleep,
But all I see is your image,
Your name hitting against my skin,
Like the fiery rain of hell.

Your number ready to call,
The words ready to cry,
But I know there will never be an answer,
Just computers telling me you’ll never come back.

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Erm go forth and read - man even I bore myself with my poems I'm sorry people!!!

Sunset settling on the clouds,

This was written rather beautifully, but didn't seem to be the beginning of a poem. You should probably add another line or two above it.

The words you used to glue me together,

Do not change this part...it's sensational.

I just want to close my eyes to sleep,
But all I see is your image,

Meh...reminded me of Every time by Britney Spears. :shudders:

Just computers telling me you’ll never come back.

This line was a bit confusing...I didn't really understand what you were trying to say...perhaps I'm just to slow to get it. Eh, most likely.

That last line

Just computers telling me you’ll never come back.

I was trying to say that the answermachine was telling me you're never coming back.... make senseness?

Sunset settling on the clouds

I see what you mean about this line I shall have to do some thinking !


tHanks for your comments !
love muchously *illified* wulie x