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Young Writers Society


Adventures of India



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Thu Jan 12, 2012 10:36 pm
Aasthik says...



The country of Economic Problems,
The country of Social Tensions,
Price-rise, poverty and Unemployment,
All the pains, of a Developing Nation!

Every year there are Elections,
O! World’s largest democratic Nation!
Every field is dominated by Corruption,
This is the general public opinion.

The mixed Economy of the Nation,
Leads to Black-marketing and Adulteration,
Some other problems are Dacoits and Terrorism,
Inside the country, exist many Virappan!
(Virappan was an infamous Dacoit who was killed by Indian police in 2003)

Due to the Faulty Central Execution,
There are many disasters and destruction,
Government's unable to provide protection,
And to add, India’s weak Jurisdiction!

Scientists try to bring revolution,
By out-dated Invention!
Just Reverse Engineering methodologies,
Hardly any Innovation!

Among other problems we have-
Pollution and Population Explosion.
Giving birth to more children;
Has become a Fashion!

In India Nationalism is missing
In cricket we have got Match-fixing.
Team Spirit in sports is lacking,
A fantastic result of Foreign Coaching.
[Most of the people know coach Greg Chappel Vs Ganguly]

Problems that Indians often face
Are the floods,the droughts and earthquakes
Everyone says “Its India!”
And “Nothing can be done!”

Among every 100, 90 are dishonest,
Hence truly said, India’s the best!


P.S. I wrote this poem in my High-School i.e. in 2003-04. I was just a novice then and wanted to use humor to communicate the problems of India as a nation. I apologize if the poem hurts the sentiments of anyone. The original article posted at my poetry blog http://www.abhivyanjanaa.blogspot.com
Aasthik - A Believer by Choice.
http://www.aasthik.com
  





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Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:52 am
Lava says...



Hey Aasthik!
I'm terrible at reviewing poetry, but I just wanted to say that was a fun poem to read. And hey, fellow Indian, welcome to YWS!
~
Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know.
- Ian McEwan in Atonement

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Fri Jan 13, 2012 12:02 pm
Snoink says...



Hi!

I think I am probably missing something critical here.. Azalea, after all, is an Indian and she seems to understand the sentiments and enjoy them where I (an American) am mostly confused. In any case, this poem doesn't really see... humorous to me? It seems rather frustrated and enraged at some of the problems that exist in India with biting sarcasm (which, I suppose you can argue that sarcasm is a type of humor, but I meant the funny type of humor). So, maybe I don't see something critical here, but I'd figure that I would give you an outsider's view looking in! Also... er... the Indian news is terrible over here and I hadn't really heard of anything that was in your poem. >.>

In any case... just because this bugs me, it seemed like you capitalized every noun. Yeah. You really don't have to do that! Usually, convention states that poems have the first word in their line capitalized (although, that convention is largely non-existent anymore and many lines are not capitalized at the beginning). Anyway, capitalization hints that there is something big going on and that the word is very important. Which may be the case! But, there were an awful lot of capitalizations there.

Anyway, hope my outsider view helped! :)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

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Fri Jan 20, 2012 7:56 pm
Aasthik says...



AzaleaLexis wrote:Hey Aasthik!
I'm terrible at reviewing poetry, but I just wanted to say that was a fun poem to read. And hey, fellow Indian, welcome to YWS!


Hi AzaleaLexis,
It indeed was a poem with a lot of sarcasm with bits and pieces of fun to tickle the reader along the way...
Aasthik - A Believer by Choice.
http://www.aasthik.com
  





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Fri Jan 20, 2012 7:59 pm
Aasthik says...



Snoink wrote:Hi!

Anyway, capitalization hints that there is something big going on and that the word is very important. Which may be the case! But, there were an awful lot of capitalizations there.

Anyway, hope my outsider view helped! :)


Exactly!
Awful lot of capitalizations for awful lot of problems. And here is what I started to eradicate those problems - http://www.paritraan.in
Aasthik - A Believer by Choice.
http://www.aasthik.com
  





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Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:00 pm
Aasthik says...



@Snoink & AzaleaLexis:
Thanks for going through the poem and expressing your views :) Will help me improve!
Aasthik - A Believer by Choice.
http://www.aasthik.com
  








Find wonder in the everyday, find everyday language to articulate it.
— Maurice Manning