This is my first half-decent poem, so although I appreciate contructive critisism, please keep it constructive and give me a break. Here it is:
True Experiences
How does it feel to get hurt by love?
Let me tell you what it’s all about…
It feels like an arrow plunged into your chest,
Your heart crushed and turned inside-out.
Restless and full of guilt, you enter a state of madness profound
As if you were in Hell, burnt and vanquished…
Lying beaten and conquered on the flaming ground,
Your sanity to the devil relinquished.
Your way is filled with fog, clouded so you can’t see
As if you were locked up in a dark, dismal room…
And have no hope of finding the key,
No path to light or happiness, no end to your eternal gloom.
You feel like you want to lay around and mope all the seasons,
Or lay around to weep…starve…rot…drop dead…
You think of her all the time and cry over the same reasons.
You just can’t get her out of your head…
Your friends then walk over…Sit down at your side…
To try to soothe you or make you smile, or offer you guidance.
But nothing helps…You despondently sit down, feeling lost and forsaken.
And when your girlfriend tells you that she loves you, in confidence…
It just makes your heart recover all the damage taken.
Comments?
I enjoyed it. The detail and description and such. I'm not really a poet, so I don't know if it is structured correctly. It looks like it, though.