Birdcalls Into the Void
Pancakes? Where did the pancakes come in? The scenery in my head went WOOOSH YOU THOUGHT. The image flipped! I was nice and comfy with the idea of birds. Never been a fan of pancakes, and the picture you are trying to paint is certainly absurd. Pancakes ain't free? That's a new one. Cross it off the bucket list, why don't you. You should have added "humor" To the genre, because that threw me off. Nice job connecting something so immature with something so serious. Totally paints a colorful picture!
Unlike Fate, I Trust You
Oh my God.
I couldn't have done better.
I was honestly surprised to find myself enjoying that poem.
I am usually picky with what I read (hence my always-low points) But that actually sounded pretty catchy! And instead of humorous like the last one, it sounds like you were trying to put serious feeling. Humorous is fine, too, but I feel like the intention to not be funny in the second poem was needed. It sounded great! Keep it up!
Points: 78
Reviews: 8
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