Hello, Ley! I'm finally getting into the chapters still left in the green room, and I hope to get to the rest of those chapters soon! April is almost over, but even if I don't get caught up with the novel by the end of the month, I'll for sure be following along with the story (because it's so good!!!)
Today, I'll be using a review template to organize my thoughts, presented in a very avian-esque fashion. ; )
"WOAH!" was my honest thought process. This was such an intricate chapter, especially with Josephine's outburst. There's so much to dig into in this chapter, and I'm excited to go through it! The story just keeps getting better and better
Another thing: As I read through this novel, I really get to see you grow as a writer. I've been noticing small changes in your writing style that have enhanced each scene just enough to make me even more invested in the story. So, well done on that!
It wouldn't be right if I didn't talk about the epic fight scene between illusion Ares and Josephine! The imagery you provided was so disturbingly beautiful. Not only did you provide a beautiful description, but it also revealed how truly devastating Josephine's powers really are. I mean, she fully incinerated a Big Twelve god. Like it was mentioned earlier, none of the other gods have the gift of fire, and, with a chance that Josephine will develop another gift, it's looking more and more likely that she will become quite the powerful goddess. (I am so excited to see that happen)
And, as it turns out, you were right about me starting to like Jase! From this chapter and the previous one, he is proving to be quite a powerful ally. With how quickly the fight ended between the other group, (and the fact that the trio won this trial) they're starting to make a really good team.
I also loved the little detail with Zeus at the end. I could practically hear his disbelief through the screen. The way he made eye contact with Josephine just made it all the more terrifying, too. I'm curious to see how the King of the Gods handles this situation. ; )
Her father froze, and he burned. Oh, how he burned…
I like the little juxtaposition between the "froze" and "burned" here. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but it really caught my eye. The way you delivered the last line of this paragraph really goes to show how much anger Josephine has been holding toward her father. I mean, it felt like she'd been waiting for this for a long time. It was especially interesting to see her realize what she'd done afterward, when she breaks down and, ironically, begs for the gods to make it stop.
Her fingertips sparked and she exploded into a million pieces, glass beams of light and heat filled the air in bursts of three.
Not going to lie, I couldn't tell if this was literal or figurative, but I chose to take it as both. From my interpretation, I saw this as a breaking point for Josephine. Almost as if all her anger and frustration - not only with her father - just sort of... exploded. This would especially make sense with the stress of the events from the past few days, and the pressure of the Trials.
Even if I'm wrong in this sense, it was still such a beautiful description.
There was one part that confused me just a tad bit.
Josephine turned around and noticed a crack in the shield surrounding them, as if it was made of glass. She placed her hand on the impact spot gently and closed her eyes. She could feel and hear people chanting her name. She smiled faintly and flicked the glass, watching as the cracks spread throughout the whole dome like spider webs.
This paragraph here really made me pause and go "wait, what?" After reading it a few times, I understood what was happening, but I still don't understand how Josephine realized that this is what she needed to do.
I think the reason it caught me so off-guard is that we don't get much of Josephine's thought process behind her actions. There's not much of a lead-in to the moment, nor room for the readers to wonder what Josephine will do. I hadn't even considered that what Josephine was seeing wasn't real.
Another thing about this section which isn't really a critique, but since I'm on the topic, I'll say it. I'm wondering if this part of the illusion is also one of Josephine's fears; losing control over her powers. It would make sense that this would be one of her fears, as she is a) trying to keep her powers hidden and b) all the previous illusions were things that Josephine feared. The only reason that I would think otherwise is that, again, I didn't get a sense that she feared or doubted what she saw.
Overall, I thought this was a great ending to a rather unique trial. Josephine overcoming her fear seems to hold great significance in her character development, as well as how her powers will grow. And, of course, we get to see a little bit more of this trio's dynamics.
One last thing: Let me know if you prefer reviews with a template or the ones I have done in previous chapters. (Or if you don't have a preference at all) Also, if there's anything you'd like me to specifically look out for while reviewing, just let me know, and I'll keep my eyes peeled!
Keep writing, and may the birds sing to you! -Avian
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Reviews: 39
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