z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

heartburn (heart burns)

by phantasm


i.
a home has no definition but
ripping open a fruit with bare fingers
and scraping out its center could
cut the word down to its closest meaning.
don’t be mistaken — a home is not sweet,
but it is also not born bare-boned and empty.

ii.
you’ll always start with a heart in this
hollow house, and slowly its body will be cored
out until even the bones become too bitter
for the world’s begging mouth. know that
you can never outrun it: this will only hurt you more.

iii.
and i hope there’s a way to live without
the fate of falling, of breaking, of rotting.
is it possible to savor something that
was never really yours. is it possible
to make a memory of something so painful
it makes it all feel futile.

iv.
don’t eulogize your home and don’t expect
a reunion for all the versions of yourself
you’ve lost trying to build it. you’ll just forget
(again and again and again) all of the pieces
you’ve put into this. all of the parts you’ve sacrificed.

so how will we ever get home? how will
we harvest a place out of this ruthless, rotting
world? i will wish upon fields of fruit for something
sweet. and i hope, finally, i come out of
this more than empty-handed.

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Points: 308
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Sat Apr 20, 2024 7:22 am
silasthegray wrote a review...



hi!

The imagery in this poem is really vivid and I can picture everything so clearly.
I like that you are playing with the idea of 'home sweet home' and it is so strong throughout.
I love the repitition of the fruit with words such as "bitter" and "rotting" and I especially like that you bring back the fruit reference at the end.

my favourite bit is the first two sections and the idea of coring a fruit/house:

"ripping open a fruit with bare fingers
and scraping out its center"

and how it repeats the idea SO nicely with:

"you’ll always start with a heart in this
hollow house, and slowly its body will be cored
out "

Overall this is a really lovely poem and makes me think of the house I live in and how many versions of myself I have become because of it.


silas :)




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77 Reviews

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Wed Feb 21, 2024 4:46 am
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SofieR wrote a review...



Hey there, Sofie here with a review!

Such a beautiful poem! Very melancholic, I could really feel every word. This right here is my favorite verse;

"don’t eulogize your home and don’t expect
a reunion for all the versions of yourself
you’ve lost trying to build it. you’ll just forget
(again and again and again) all of the pieces
you’ve put into this."

The way I interpreted this was ; don't mourn for all the past versions of yourself. Because they still exist somewhere in you and they helped get you to the current version person are today.

Anyway, great job and can't wait to read more from you soon!

Sofie




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Tue Feb 20, 2024 12:46 am
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creaturefeature says...



i've missed your beautiful poetry




phantasm says...


ahh thank youu




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