Young Writers Society

Time for a Black Cat Review!!

MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:

Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret

Thanks for sharing this lovely poem The title and first three lines taught my attention right away and I knew I had to read the rest.

I think you start off incredibly strong with these lines:

I’d like to speak

To the writer of my life

Tell him to change the story

Tell him to give me a girl

Give me actual love

Not just a broken family

Sadly, I must face

The harshest of realities

The writer is god

And I likely won’t find love

For a few more years

I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!

As I sit here, reading through the pages of my life, I can't help but feel a sense of disappointment. The story, written by the elusive and all-powerful writer, is full of drama, romance, and family problems. It's like a giant production, with me as the main character, living in a world of chaos and never-ending plot twists. It's definitely something I would read, but it's not something I want to live.

So, I'd like to speak to the writer of my life. I want to tell them to change the story, to make it less interesting. Less insane. Give me a break from all the drama and chaos. Give me a boring life. It may not be something I would typically want, but it's what I need right now.

I want to speak to the writer and tell them to give me a girl. A girl who will love me for who I am, not just a broken family to constantly deal with. I want actual love, not just a temporary fix for my broken family. Please, give me a chance at a happy and fulfilling relationship.

But, as much as I wish for these things, I know that the writer is in control. They hold all the power in crafting my story. And sadly, I must face the harshest of realities. The writer is like a god, and I am at their mercy.

I'd love to speak to them, to plead my case for a less interesting story. But, I know that it's unlikely to change. I may have to wait a few more years before I find love and have a more stable and peaceful life. But until then, I'll keep reading through the pages of this chaotic story, hoping for a happy ending.

Thank you so very much for this read. Hope to see more from you soon!

Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review (sorry if it took a while lol). I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know

This poem follows the story of someone who wants more control over their life, specifically in the area of love. After begging and wishing for a while, they realize that it is ultimately out of their control. The breaks in words makes it kinda feel like a song a character in a musical would sing about their love interest

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements

I understand what you were going for with the breaks in words, which was to make it feel like a song. However, some of the effect gets lost because it is purely visual (kind of like how reading a play feels different than watching a play). Also, this poem may benefit from more stanza breaks (this knowledge base article shows how and why stanzas are used and may be helpful)

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece

I think my favorite part is the ending, which is a moment of acceptance for the reader. Even thought it isn’t what they want, they know it is what’s best for them. It’s kinda bittersweet in a way, and makes for a really good ending.

Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this poem. Thank you for asking me to review!

—GengarIsBestBoy

Hi Friend, I see you've wrote a poem that gives us your firm desire for love and stability in life. No more the ups and downs, no more with something that the poor imitation of family and it's just broken, thus dysfunctional.. We all have our problems, we can try and manage them. However when there's something Sour(unable to heal) it has to cease before it leads to tragedy.

Your Friend Ashitaka.

Hi Fire Crispy,
I like your poem/song. It expresses the way you and probably many other people feel sometimes. You express your frustrations with your present life situation in a fairly light hearted or ironic way. Your readers can get what you are saying, they feel what you mean. Now as far as the poem/song goes, it is well written and has a clear concept, but I feel I have to disagree with the basic message. Here are my thoughts, which you can choose to ponder on or throw out as you wish.
For a start you say "I'd like to speak to the writer of my life" a good opening, but you are already speaking to the writer of your life. You are the writer of your own life. The novel of your life may have begun with the opening chapters with you finding yourself in a broken family, but that is just the beginning, it is up to you the writer to create the following chapters. You are the writer only you can write the next chapters and take the control and direction of your life.
Because you find your present life situation has to much drama, you wish for a less interesting life, a boring life. Well quite often our wishes do come true so maybe it's not a good idea to wish for that. It is very possible and many people do live a very interesting and exciting life without negative drama being a part of it. So maybe that is a better wish to have, an interesting life with little or no negative drama.
You go on to say "Give me a girl, give me actual love" but the Universe doesn't act that way, it doesn't respond that way. If you ask for love or chase after love it runs away. The quickest way to find love is first love yourself and be at peace with yourself, then share that feeling of peace and love with whoever you meet. Just be happy and kind to yourself and life and the world. In other words give love unconditionally and soon you will find that love will seek you out rather than running from you.
You go on to say that "Sadly I must face the harshest of realities",
Why? You are the writer of your own story, why write that for your self. Then finally you let the reader know who you think the writer of your story is. "The writer is God," Now people who believe in God, no matter the religion also believe that God gave us freewill, although that do forget that often. when God decided to give us free will, He tied his hands behind his back, so to speak.
To give us free will, He had to stand back and not interfere with the decisions we make. Sure we can ask for guidance and help but the choices we make are our own. If God was writing your life, He would be controlling you, you would not be free, but rather a slave. We learn by creating our own lives and that is the exciting journey. We learn from our mistakes and experience joy from our successes.
So Fire Crispy, why not think about writing your own life story and make it exciting, interesting and full of love and I feel sure that God will give you all the help you need if you set your mind on that. I did enjoy your poem/song it gave me a lot to think about. PEL.