z

Young Writers Society



despite everything: plums

by Sonder


Text:

we bought black plums

to eat on the back porch with

the shadow of the ginkgo tree

cast over our heads

the tree that

my landlord tried to kill

with an ax to the trunk

this winter

"first stone fruit of the season"

my lover says

and the flesh of the plums tastes sweet

through the sour skin snap on my

teeth and the ginkgo,

unbothered,

is growing new leaves.


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476 Reviews


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Tue Apr 16, 2024 9:07 pm
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Apricity wrote a review...



Hey Sonder,
It's always a pleasure to see old poets come back to the site and you're no exception. I rarely write reviews anymore so I couldn't resist this piece.

It's so deliciously delightful, your voice has definitely matured a lot since your younger years here and it shows itself in the sharpness and succinctness of your imagery and language. Even the way you truncate each sentence adds a particular punch to the poem, much like the sourness of the plum, your choice of punctuation in places like in these three lines poses such a nice separation but draws a parallel between the black plum and the gingko.

through the sour skin snap on my

teeth and the ginkgo,

unbothered,

is growing new leaves.


i love how everyday this poem is, the subject is so accessible and so relatable yet so effortlessly poetic at the same time. there is this sense of ease and hopefulness that is weaved throughout the poem, especially with lines like

and the ginkgo,

unbothered,

is growing new leaves.


that contrasts so nicely against the

and the flesh of the plums tastes sweet

through the sour skin snap on my
,

there are lots of nice dualities you've used throughout the poem, sweet and sour, the gorgeous sonal alignment of 'black' and 'back' here

we bought black plums

to eat on the back porch with
.

It's such a damn pleasure to read. I don't have any bones to pick with this poem, I just adore it and hope you know it too. It's beautifully written <3. I love the mundane that has been made magical through a poetic lens and you've done just that, everyday magic fits this poem quite well.

I hope we see more of our writing here


-Apri (or Flite! Which you might know me better as)




Sonder says...


Oh my gosh, hi!! So many people have changed their names, so I'm still figuring out who is who. Great to see you <3 Thank you so much for this sweet review. ;-; I really appreciate it. I've been on a longggg hiatus from both YWS and writing so this poem was really refreshing to write and post. I'm so glad you liked it, and I hope to write more soon. :)



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498 Reviews


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Tue Apr 16, 2024 2:50 am
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Que says...



You had me at ginkgo. <3
I love all of it, but especially the last three lines.




Sonder says...


Thank you!



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Tue Apr 16, 2024 12:51 am
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BluesClues says...



Obsessed, I love everything about this




Sonder says...


thank youuuu!



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Mon Apr 15, 2024 11:30 pm
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EllieMae wrote a review...



Time for a Black Cat Review!!



MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:

Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret

Overall, I found this to be a very lovely and reflective poem. It gave me a huge sense of looking g back at the path and I felt like I was watching a replay of a nice afternoon.

we bought black plums

to eat on the back porch with

the shadow of the ginkgo tree


I love this. It isn't complicated. it is simple and beautiful and calm. it matched the mood of what you are describing so well- that is something i really admire in your poetry and in this piece as a whole.

I searched up some pictures of ginko trees and they are beautiful as well.

i love this transition:

cast over our heads

the tree that

my landlord tried to kill

with an ax to the trunk


the idea of sitting a tree that was supposed to be cut down is a very lovely thing to think about. in my mind, this can be symbolic of so much more. everything you have right now could have been cut down as well, but it is still standing and it is still present and it is still important to you. i love this!! how beautiful!

Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement

I would love to see some more physical description. what does the tree look like? are the leaves falling? is the breeze cold? where are you sitting and how do you feel? overall, though, this was incredibly well done and i loved the simplicity but depth that it made me feel. i hope you can tag me in more poetry!!

Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises

I loved how this poem has two stanzas that parallel each other. i loved how you went back to the basics at the end of the poem and restated the tree, the unbothered tree that is still standing. such a beautiful and meaningful poem. bravo!! :D

Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts

Thanks for sharing this! It was a very pleasant poem to read. overall, i love your poetry! amazing work!

your friend,
Ellie Mae

I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!




Sonder says...


hi Ellie, thanks for your review! i appreciate your feedback!



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Mon Apr 15, 2024 10:44 pm
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Moonlily wrote a review...



Hello Hello, I hope you dont mind if I pop in here with a review. Firstly I want to say this might not be my most in-depth review both in part because I feel it is pretty polished and since it is on the shorter side. I also have to ask if this is based on personal experience as this whole thing does paint such a vivid picture. Details are a great way to make a poem more personal and impactful something that is done here to a wonderful effect. However, I do have something I would personally tweak ( I am not a pro and you don't need to if you don't want to )

" through the sour skin snap on my" To me, there's something slightly off about the phrasing perhaps something like " though the sour skin snaps on my" It's not perfect and something more fitting could pop up if you play around with it. I just feel like through was tripping up the flow.

Overall it is a very clean and beautifully concise piece I enjoyed. Keep it up, stay creative and drink water!




Sonder says...


hi moonlily, thanks for your review. i appreciate your feedback! yes, this was an experience from this weekend. :) the tree is important to me, and it is really lovely to see it growing leaves again, even though it was injured this winter.

thanks again!




i exist in a constant state of confusion so its ok
— veeren