z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Crazy

by caseyjoa3


I must

Be crazy

Dealing with you 

And you know it to 

Ridiculous

That’s what 

I call it 

I think we will leave it at that!


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211 Reviews


Points: 10040
Reviews: 211

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Thu Apr 25, 2024 3:22 pm
EllieMae wrote a review...



Time for a Black Cat Review!!



MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:

Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret

This is a very short, honest, and personal poem. I love how short it was and how you got your point across really fast. I like the topic you chose to write about.

Ridiculous

That’s what

I call it

I think we will leave it at that!


I can sense that this person really drives you crazy, a lot! And using that emotion to write poetry is a great way to share your feelings, so awesome work.

Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement

And you know it to


This should be 'too' instead of too. I think you could also remove the word And to help it flow better, since it does not seem like it is a continuation of the previous sentence.

One way that I think this poem could be imp[roved is by sharing more personal details- why emotions are you feeling and what do they feel like in your body? Who is this person and why are they important to you? Why are they making you crazy? Physical details like descriptions of appearance or countenance?

Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises

I love the topic that you chose to write about. I really do like the simple formatting and language you used as well. It is easy to follow along and not too complicated.

I loved this ending line as well:

I think we will leave it at that!


Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts

Awesome writing! Keep going, can't wait to read more of what you write. And also, a late welcome to YWS :D

Your friend,
Ellie

I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!




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6 Reviews


Points: 50
Reviews: 6

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Mon Apr 22, 2024 1:42 am
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AraWolf wrote a review...



Hi!
First of all, I would like to say that I love the craziness of this poem. It really is quite crazy.
But now for the review. A few things that I would like to mention off the bat are:
1. It is quite short. I think that if you were to lengthen the project, it would be much better. I also think that it would attract more readers instead of it just being 25 words long. (Yes I counted.)
2. It is a little bit unclear. Currently you have this:
“I must

Be crazy

Dealing with you

And you know it to

Ridiculous

That’s what

I call it

I think we will leave it at that!”

This is slightly unclear because the lines are separated and into lines instead of verses, And the lines are also quite choppy. One sentence will start on one line, and then will continue on another leaving the readers eyes to hurt. ;)
If you maybe changed it to this:

I must be crazy
Dealing with you
And you know it too.

Ridiculous!
That’s what I call it!
I think we’ll leave it at that!


Notice how those are the exact same words, but formatted differently making them more clear and concise. The sentences are in a different paragraph each time a period or a coma hits. And one other error that i see is that instead of saying “And you know it too” i would say And you know it TOO. (Not capitalized of course!)
Okay so that’s all i have. I hoped that you found this helpful. I really can’t wait to start reading some more of your poetry! If you would like to read some of my works, please check out “Burgundy Sight” by me! (It starts at Burgundy Sight: Prologue.)
Thank you for your work,
—AraWolf




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Sun Apr 21, 2024 8:10 am
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gkbrlla says...



short yet very relatable, i too am crazy lol





Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
— Abraham Lincoln