z

Young Writers Society


16+ Violence

The Prime Control Chapter 5 Part 1: The Dream

by keeperofgaming


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

“Well, you look horrid, human.”

“That happens when a demon attacks you.”

“Wings should have defended you then.”

Taury snapped in response.

“Easier said than done when the demon knows your name.”

Morgan’s eyes narrowed.

“That demon who originally attacked struck again?”

I spoke.

“No, it was a different one, though I do have the title of the first one.”

“Really? What is it?”

“The Hunter.”

Morgan and Taury froze.

“The… Hunter? Are you certain?”

“Wings, didn’t you hear it?”

“No, I was more concerned with saving you.”

“He said, ‘Oh, surprised? The Hunter told us all about you. The last pixie outside of the Sylvian Woods. He’s too cowardly to use your name in control, though.’”

“Oh, I was more shocked that he actually knew it to listen to that, and I was focused on saving you.”

Morgan breathed in irritation and… worry?

“The Hunter… we haven’t faced him in a long time…”

“You know that demon?”

Morgan nodded.

“Yes, he’s a powerful one. Yes… he definitely could deny my rules…”

“Yeah, we barely scared the demon away after he hurt Wings.”

“Hurt her? William, bring her closer.”

I removed her from my head and walked up to Morgan who gaped in horror.

“Your wing…”

“The demon bit my arm off, and took my wing with it, but William is in arguably worse shape than me.”

“What?! What could be worse than a pixie losing the ability to fly?!”

Taury gave a dark look.

“To create the flame spire, he used all of his magic, and Alvane said that he’d be lucky if he could ever cast magic again.”

“Alvane… that explains where you two were. She was treating you… to think… if even Alvane said that…”

“Is Alvane a doctor?”

Taury looked at me.

“Of all of the Knights of Avalon, Alvane was the most powerful healer, her healing magic was a close match for my light back then. If she gives a diagnosis, then it’s not going to be wrong.”

“Oh… so… my magic is truly lost to me?”

“Most likely.”

Morgan sighed.

“The only thing I think could heal either of you is the Sylvian Dream, but you don’t have wings, and Wings can’t use hers.”

Taury nodded.

“Yeah… besides, the dream only manifests close enough to fly to in the Sylvian Woods, which is currently sealed.”

“Is there another way?”

“A demon’s stone could theoretically have enough power, but it would also corrupt you two. So, the only one I can think of is the Sylvian Dream… Or… if you managed to get Wing’s to fly to the dream somehow, like pain inhibitors or something… She would have enough magic then to also heal your magic reservoir.”

“Wow… so, she if I could just get her there… both of us would be healed.”

“Yes, but the problem is still getting her there. Even if I used a name command, it would probably only get her halfway before the command breaks and she falls.”

“Oh. That sucks… well, thanks for your help.”

“It’s not a big deal… I can sense you have a potential idea. The next Dream is tonight. I’d suggest getting to the Forest is you intend to try it out.”

“Thank you.”

We walked, then when we entered the Tesseract, I put Taury down and she stood.

“What is your plan?”

“If I pull together enough magic for a single control… I could bypass the pain limitations and you could fly to the dream.”

“You’d have to hold it for 10 minutes…”

“What if someone provides me with enough magic to do so?”

“Who wou-… are you saying that we should ask my brother if you can use his mana to empower you enough to control me to do something that is incredibly dangerous with a slim hope that I’ll be able to make it to the Dream?”

“Yep.”

“………. That’s dumb enough to actually work.”

“Alright. How do I get there?”

“… I didn’t even think of that. If I was the Monarch then I could grant you full access, but I’m not, and it’s sealed, so I doubt that you could use the regular password.”

“What if you brought me?”

“???”

“Like you hold my arm or something like that.”

“Hmm… that may work.”

She reached out and grabbed my arm before thinking becoming silent. Then we were once again in the Sylvian Woods.

“Woah… incredible.”

She landed in my hand and winced.

“Should have grabbed your foot or something. That way the shrinking wouldn’t make me fall.”

“Hindsight…”

“Yeah…”

Then we heard a horn.

“Something broke past the sealing!!!”

“Of course, they would notice.”

“Luckily it’s just us and not a demon.”

I turned to Taurael who grimaced.

“That isn’t much better to a majority of them.”

“… Right…”

Many pixies stopped upon seeing us.

“It seems that Lady Taurael and her lover has returned.”

“…”

Taurael and I blushed. She sighed.

“Why does everyone think we are lovers?!”

“I dunno…”

Malkek flew up.

“Not lovers… hopefully. Anyway, what do you need?”

He looked down at Taurael with confusion before gasping.

“What happened?”

His aura began to shake the forest as he looked at me with a question and a promise if I answered incorrectly.

“A demon attacked us; he knew her name and he was restraining me.”

He calmed a bit but seemed more worried than furious.

“Then how are you alive?”

“Because after it did… that to her. I forced it to rip itself to shreds and then closed it off with a flame spire.”

He seemed thoughtful a smiled broke on his face as he imagined it.

“A magic fury. Interesting. Humans typically can’t have those. Then again, humans typically can’t have magic.”

“Yeah, so that ties into why we are here. We need your help.”

He sighed.

“I’m guessing you want to bring her to the Sylvian dream, but I don’t know what to tell you. With her wing in that state… it’d be a miracle if she could even get off the ground.”

“Because of the pain.”

“Yes… what are you planning, human?”

“If I were to use control, then she would break past the pain and be able to reach it.”

“… That would work, but why do you need my help?”

“Because in my magical fury, I used enough magic that a knight of Avalon, Alvane, said I’d be lucky to ever use magic again.”

He looked at me in shock. Then understanding dawned.

“So, you want to tap into my magic to give you enough mana so she can fly far enough to reach it.”

“Yes.”

He thought for a moment.

“I’ll do it.”

“…Really?”

“Yes, I thought more on our previous conversation and realized that you were correct. There was no way that she would’ve killed our parents. I should have realized it the moment she glowed instead of me, but I was consumed with anger, and I need to make up for that.”

“Oh,..”

“Thank you, brother.”

“I will likely spend my whole life making it up to you, sister. Well, let’s do this.”

He floated and I felt the magic shake.

“Alright, now whenever you use a spell, it’s power will take from me instead of you. Hold my hand to activate it.”

I felt the connection and I turned to Taury.

“Are you ready?”

“Of course.”

“Control.”

Malkek had an odd look.

“Taury, go up to the Sylvian Dream and release control once you reach it.”

“Understood.”

Then she took off. Some blood falling. She flew powerfully, a slight hobble. Some pixies spoke in awe.

“His control is incredible, making even someone like the lady ignore that much pain.”

For several minutes, she flew as the Dream formed. It was beautiful.

“William, I have a question.”

“Yes, sir?”

“How is this possible?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“You didn’t use an ounce of magic, but… she’s doing it, nonetheless.”

Numerous pixies turned in shock at Malkek’s statement.

“Sir, have you ever heard of the placebo effect?”

“No?”

“It’s an effect, discovered by humans. It shows us how much influence our minds truly have. If someone with a deadly disease took a pill of water. How effective would that be?”

“Not at all.”

“Now, what do you think happens if the person believes they took a secret cure to that disease?”

“The same?”

“Their mind believes it is no longer sick, therefore, the body works harder and creates more antibodies to adapt to the disease in the future.”

“But the disease isn’t gone…”

“With the introduction of the new antibodies it will be.”

His eyes widened.

“My mana reservoir was completely crushed. Not even a drop of mana can exist in it. Meaning drawing on your mana would not work. And, even if it did, then it would be my will that would reach the Dream, blessing me instead. So, I convinced Taury of the plan. Making her believe that that was our strategy.”

Taurael was three flaps from the dream when she began to falter, but she didn’t give up.

“Her body ignores the pain, because her mind thinks I’m making her do so.”

Two flaps.

“And it is not my but her will that reaches the Dream.”

One flap.

“She needs to do this. I can’t help her with it.”

“Why do it then?”

“Because I know she can do it.”

Then, she broke into the dream, and the entire forest ignited with light.


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246 Reviews


Points: 42528
Reviews: 246

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Wed Apr 24, 2024 6:59 pm
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RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello Again, My Friend!

It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

Ah, that was a great chapter! Not only from the plan they formed, and the return to the Sylvian region, but discovering what we did about William's "magic" in the process! Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

I didn't find anything to put here for now!

Why The Grin Widened...

So as the chapter opens, Morgan definitely sounds like...Morgan, haha. She's actually growing on me as a character, now that we know more about her. As the discussion leads to the demon, it was great to read the reaction to his title. He sounds like a threat, alright.

I was also surprised, as they started on the subject of damage from the attack, that Morgan seemed concerned for Taury...

“What?! What could be worse than a pixie losing the ability to fly?!”


Perhaps William was right after all, and she's not as cold as she seems, hm? Interesting indeed...Reading about the idea of using a form of pain inhibitor to get Taury into the Dream was cool, it gave the reader a sense of hope despite the diagnosis and severity of the damage. And Taury's reaction to William's plan to involve Malkek...

“………. That’s dumb enough to actually work.”


I enjoyed that, lol. I was anxious at first when they got past the sealing and into the woods, thinking Taury would become a target once again, but seeing what Malkek had to say was a very pleasant surprise:

“Yes, I thought more on our previous conversation and realized that you were correct. There was no way that she would’ve killed our parents. I should have realized it the moment she glowed instead of me, but I was consumed with anger, and I need to make up for that.”


His remorse, and this glimpse of the entire ordeal from his own perspective, was great! Especially considering how he was so stubborn and adamant about staying in denial the first time around, this was a great change of pace for his and Taury's characters.

Leading into Taury starting her ascent, just imagining her flying with a broken, bloody wing was enough to make me cringe, but as Malkek described what was really happening -that this is all a placebo effect- was yet another big surprise:

“Her body ignores the pain, because her mind thinks I’m making her do so.”


Woah!! That's a crazy new development in his ability; I imagine there's a lot that could go right with that, and a lot that could go wrong. Either way, very cool.

And finally...

Then, she broke into the dream, and the entire forest ignited with light.


I just really liked how you staged the ending, that was very nice ~

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, this was awesome! Nicely done! :D

Image






5 is definitely my second favorite of the chapters I've written thusfar





Thanks for the review



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Wed Apr 24, 2024 12:33 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the review?

Top Graham Cracker - William and Taurael enter the Sylvian dream, so that William may be able to have his magic back. But will all go well?

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - This chapter is fine for now, I’m just excited to see what awaits in part 2 of this story.

Chocolate Bar - I love how Taurael still broke through the dream out of simply thinking that her pain was gone. It’s effective, and a new way to help her with her task.

Closing Graham Cracker - William and Taurael have entered the Sylvian dream, the possibility of magic may come back, and a even bigger threat than Morgan waits…

I wish you an amazing day/night! :>





Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.
— Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief