Yes… we were considered one of the top forty writing websites for young writers on Educational Portal!  

 Dedicated to scribes between the ages of 13 and 25, Young Writer’s Society is the world’s largest website for young writers. The members-only community encourages submissions and offers tips that will help anyone become a better writer.

See it here: 40 of the Best Websites for Young Writers

Cap’n Teague says tomorrow is International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Enjoy.  Argh.

See if you can find any word that rhymes with orange.

Pork and Beans by Weezer.

With all the talk about the party conventions here in the United States, I thought it might be appropriate to check into what each candidates’ favorite books are.

Unfortunately, there’s no easy list out there.  However, one interesting fact did emerge: both John McCain and Barack Obama share a favorite book.  What is it?  For Whom The Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway.  McCain appreciates it as the book is about soldiers in wartime, while Obama finds it inspirational. Interesting how they come to the same conclusion on the same book, but for different reasons.

Source: Barack Obama and John McCain share a favorite author

Today I thought I’d go over something very important for all writers to keep in mind: Yog’s Law.

Yog’s Law is the principle that Money Flows Toward The Writer.  It’s as simple as that.  You may think that it makes sense to pay a publisher.  After all, there are many (unethical) publishers out there who (1) bill themselves as the fastest growing publisher in [insert country], and (2) tell you that “Selling the first novel by an author is tough, so we’ll need you to cover some of the cost.”  Don’t fall for it.

If you ever get published, any publisher worth their name in salt will cover all the costs.  They’ll handle all the risk, and they’ll make any money back through selling your book.  What they may ask you to do is to help with marketing (such as contacting local booksellers in your area), but they’ll never ask for any money from you.

In the meantime, I encourage you to read more on Yog’s Law, and “How to get Published…” by Lore Sjöberg at Wired.

I was playing with Stumble today and came across a website with funny metaphors from high school essays.  I read through them and must admit a few of them are really quite good.  Here’s a few of the better ones:

-Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

-She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

-Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

-John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

Just below all of these quotes is a comment that says “This is our future here people! Be afraid!”  Though, personally, I’m more concerned about the person who named this page “Funny Metaphors from high school essays” seeing as how every one of those is a simile.

….This is what we have to look up to here people!  Be afraid!

site

I found this recently: a story about how a professor gave his students the sentence, “A woman without her man is nothing.”  I doubt the story is actually true, but as the story goes, the female students and male students had two different ways of punctuating it.

The men in the class wrote it as: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.”

But the women wrote: “A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

Interesting how punctuation can change the meaning of just one sentence, eh?  Just a few grammatical marks can turn the sentence into something absolutely different.

So I’m going to kick off something new: every week I’ll give a new sentence for people to punctuate.  You can add periods, commas, capitalize words, whatever.  So here’s the first:

Among dogs ducks meet discussing quarters to a mouse on wheels

Dear John,

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.  You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?

Gloria

Dear John,

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior.  You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours, Gloria

Source: Writing Jokes

To those in America, of course!  (and apparently Japan…?)

Tomorrow is the fourth of July!  Also known as eat, drink and set fire to flying objects day! :D  But, we should all have a little fun knowledge to share while waiting for the fireworks so remember some of these:

-31 places nationwide have “Liberty” in their name.  Iowa has the most with 4.

-74+ million americans said they took part in a barbeque last year. 

-Fun facts about your barbeque food? 1-in-6 chance your burgers came from Texas.  1-in-4 chance your hotdog and ribs came from Iowa. 75% chance your lettuce came from California. 95% chance your ketchup also came from Cali. 1-in-3 chance your baked beans came from North Dakota.

-$207 Million worth of fireworks were imported from China in 2007.  $14.9 million worth were exported from the US, Japan bought the most.

-$7.9 Million worth of American Flags imported in 2002.  It was $51.7 Million in 2001. It was only $4.7 Million in 2007.

-Japan buys the most US Flags.

Feel enlightened yet?  I’m certainly ready for a bbq!

Dude… this is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen:

Dancing Walrus

Nate, I confess, this started all because I wanted to prank you. I saw that one thread in the mod forum (you know the one) and instead of being a nice human being and comforting you, I had the craziest urge to give you the biggest prank that I think YWS has ever seen. The plan? To fill up your PM box with thank you notes from all of YWS. 

Consider yourself lucky that I talked with Meshugenah first. She dissuaded me from this idea and we came up with another plan, a better plan. We would PM all the active members from YWS that we could grab and tell them to write a thank you note and send it to me, so that way, I would get stuck with all the thank you notes. And then we would show it to you, at once, so we could completely overwhelm you. A good prank? Maybe. We code named it “Project Awesome.” 

But it’s not completely my fault, honest. It’s the whole site’s fault. Yes, I had a crazy idea, but the idea caught on fire. Several people, when they first got my PM, demanded to help me and made sure I never slacked off. In the first five days, I received nearly a hundred replies and thank you notes for you. And not just from established members either–I was astonished how many wonderful notes that I got from newbies, who I thought would simply ignore my PM. Boy, was I wrong. 

Nate, nobody once said this was a terrible idea. Often for the topic of the PM they sent me back, they changed it to, “Great idea!” Or, if they didn’t do this, they simply told me, “Great idea!” in the actual private message. As Layleun put it, “When Project Awesome was launched I literally yelped with joy and danced around the room because Snoink finally thought of a way we could help you!” 

Nate, we all think you’re awesome. And we want to prove it to you. 

I asked everybody to choose their favorite color–that is why this is a whole rainbow of colors. Everybody is listed in alphabetical order because we are all YWS members, no matter what color we sport in the actual forums. 

Here is what we have to say:

Project Awesome

I know that there are some people here who come up with all these strange ways of naming characters. Sometimes they think, “ZOMG*, my character is a hunter, therefore I shall name him… Hunter! No wait… Orion! No wait…Kdjsaha!” And they just come up with these ridiculous names and it is slightly horrible. 

1) Too obvious. I mean, that would be like me saying, “The hairdresser’s name is… Hairdresser.” Come on peoples! 

2) Yeah… just beat me over the head with symbolism and watch my brain ooze out of my ears.

3) Please, do not bash your head on the keyboard. Writing is painful enough without that sort of physical abuse.

Of course, I, being a terrible writer, have a different, equally horrible way of naming characters. Instead of saying, “ZOMG, THAT NAME IS SO COOL!” I think, “What is the stupidest name I can think of?” For instance, in my main project right now, I have a character who is called Beth. Why? Because I think that name sounds stupid. I also think the name “Claude” sounds stupid. It’s waaaaay too French for even me. So usually I pick these really horrible names. The results? Well, I actually have to concentrate on developing the character, since their names are so stupid and lame that they can’t give anything away or distract the reader from the plot by being completely outlandish and weird.

Weird idea? Probably. But keep it in mind when you’re dealing with character names. 

* And ZOMG is totally a word. Really. It means, “Oh my God, I sound like a complete idiot!” if you want the actual translation of it.

If you’ve been listening to the news lately, then you’ve no doubt heard about a string of Supreme Court decisions that have proven to be somewhat controversial.  Of course, that’s how it always goes, but since the Supreme Court is in the news, it feels appropriate to go with a Justice theme for today’s post.

A couple of days ago, Lynlyn, a member of the Young Writers Society, sent me a New York Times article from 2002 about a rhyming justice.  That’s right, a rhyming justice.

From the case of Mr. Porreco vs. Ms. Porecco in Pennsylvania, Justice Eakin wrote:

A groom must expect matrimonial pandemonium
When his spouse finds he’s given her cubic zirconium.
Given their history and Pygmalion relation
I find her reliance was with justification.

Apparently Justice Eakin does this quite a bit.  From another case involving a woman with two dogs who sued a driver who ran over one of her dogs in which he wrote:

The car was coming much too close, something inside told her;
the next thing Mrs. Zangrando knew, a poodle flew over her shoulder.
To appellee this was nothing short of an unmitigated disaster;
the wingless Angel’d taken flight and ascended quickly past her.
In this brace of miniature poodles, neither one wide nor tall;
one may have been named Autumn,
but t’was Angel took the fall.

Oh, but it gets worse.  From a case in Michigan involving a car and an oak tree written by a different Justice:

We thought that we would never see
A suit to compensate a tree.
A bankruptcy judge in Florida:
Upon consideration of Section 707(b), loud I cried
The court’s sua sponte motion to dismiss under Section 707(b) is denied.

Can it get any worse?  Yes, yes it can.  From the bankruptcy case of In re Robin E Love, Debtor written by a Judge A. Jay Cristol:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary
Over many quaint and curious files of chapter seven lore.
While I nodded nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door,
“Tis some debtor” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
Only this and nothing more.”

Ah distinctly I recall, it was in the early fall
And the file still was small
The Code provided I could use it
If someone tried to substantially abuse it
No party asked that it be heard.
“Sua sponte” whispered a small black bird.

The bird himself, my only maven, strongly looked to be a raven.
Upon the words the bird had uttered I gazed at all the files cluttered
“Sua sponte,” I recall, had no meaning; none at all.
And the cluttered files sprawl, drove a thought into my brain.
Eagerly I wished the morrow—vainly I had sought to borrow
From BAFJA, surcease of sorrow—and an order quick and plain
That this case would not remain as a source of further pain.
The procedure, it seemed plain.

Judges, stick to your day job.

James Chartrand has a story up over at Copyblogger titled “Three Questions Your Copy Must Answer To Succeed.”  Needless to say, most of those who read this blog aren’t really interested in writing copy, at least not yet.  However, they are interested in writing stories that attract and hold readers’ interest.Producing good copy and producing a good short story really isn’t that different.  In both instances, you have to define your audience, figure out what to write, and write it in a compelling manner.  So what are the three questions your copy must answer to succeed?  According to Chartrand, they are:

1. Why do I really need this?
2. Why should I choose you?
3. Why should I decide now?

[Read more →]

 ”Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” - Mark Twain

Although Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn are two of my favorite books, Mark Twain isn’t one of my favorite authors.  Don’t get me wrong; he is by far one of the greatest American novelists.  However, his work is mostly hit or miss for me.  Tom Sawyer?  Awesome bo-possum.  A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court?  No comment.

However, Mark Twain is by far my favorite source of quotes.  In the lexicon of today, he is the 19th century version of John Stewart; a satirical humorist who won’t hesitate to skewer anyone who deserves it.  So hit the jump for Twainisms to lighten up your day:

• [Read more →]

This week’s word is scissorfy.  As usual, make up a definition for it and post it in the comments.  Including it in a sentence is greatly appreciated, but not required.

Last week’s word was flummonade, and there were a lot of great definitions that people made up!  If you want a good laugh, read the comments.

But one definition has to win, and after much deliberation on the part of yours truly, that winner is Azila with:

flummonade (v.): to flounce about joyously, unaware of great danger and/or embarrassment you are causing for your self.

• Hubert flummonaded out of the barber’s shop, not noticing the bug-eyed stares pedestrians were awarding to the large clump of hair that the barber had accidentally died green

Next week, I’ll be posting all of the newly created words and a small contest (with a prize!) will be held; the person who uses the most new words in the correct way on sites other than YWS will win.  More details next week.

So what do you think are the most attractive book covers?  You can name how many you want (1, 100… doesn’t matter), and I’ll put together a list later this week based on the responses.

From http://www.etni.org.il/farside/analogies.htm:

The following originally appeared as winners of a
“Worst Analogies ever written in a High School Essay Contest”
in the Washington Post Style Invitational”

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. Joseph Romm, Washington

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t. Russell Beland, Springfield

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup. Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and “Jeopardy” comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. Roy Ashley, Washington

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

Read More:

http://www.etni.org.il/farside/analogies.htm

Try coming up with your own as well!

Here are some nifty facts about today I thought were pretty cool.

1812

The War of 1812 began.

1815

Napoleon was defeated at the Battle of Waterloo by British, German, and Dutch forces.

1873

Suffragist Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote in the 1872 presidential election.

1928

Aviator Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean. She completed the flight from Newfoundland to Wales in about 21 hours.

1948

The United Nations Commission on Human Rights adopted its International Declaration of Human Rights. The General Assembly would give it final approval on Dec. 10, 1948.

1983

Sally Ride became the first American woman in space.

So it’s June 17 now, which means almost everyone in the Northern Hemisphere is out of school for the summer.  So, how will you be spending these sunny days?  Got a job?  Camp?  YWSing it up?

Every word nerd knows the rules–seven tiles, no peeking–but did you know that versions of Scrabble exist in Afrikaans, Arabic, Braille, Bulgarian, Catalan, Croatian, Czech, Danish, Dutch, Finnish, French, German, Greek, Hebrew, Hungarian, Icelandic, Italian, Malaysian, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Russian, Slovak, Slovenian, Spanish, Turkish, and Welsh?

…that it was originally known as Lexico?

…that there are 109 permissible two-letter combinations?

…that the highest you can score on the first turn is 126 points, with SQUEEZY or QUARTZY?

…the highest recorded hypothetical score is 1970 with BENZOXYCAMPHORS?

…that the highest score recorded in a single turn in competition was 392 with CAZIQUES [the plural of a West Indian chief]?

…I didn’t.

This week’s word is flummonade, which has no Latin root.  It is purely a made-up word, so no extra points this time for staying true to the Latin root.

Last week’s word was deponinate, coming from the Latin root depono, meaning to put down, lay aside.  The winning definition comes from Lynlyn:

Deponinate: (v.) To remove from a position of authority, usually by decree of a higher office.

• The local chairman was deponinated by the regional manager, who felt that his irresponsible use of funds merited removal from the position.

Congrats Lynlyn!

So most everyone knows that Shakespeare invented the word assassination, right?

Well did you also know he invented the words academe, accused, addiction, advertising, amazement, arouse, backing, bandit, bedroom, beached, besmirch, birthplace, blanket, bloodstained, barefaced, blushing, bet, bump, buzzer, caked, cater, champion, circumstantial, cold-blooded, compromise, courtship, countless, critic, dauntless, dawn, deafening, discontent, dishearten, drugged, dwindle, epileptic, equivocal, elbow, excitement, exposure, eyeball, fashionable, fixture, flawed, frugal, generous, gloomy, gossip, green-eyed, gust, hint, hobnob, hurried, impede, impartial, invulnerable, jaded, label, lackluster, laughable, lonely, lower, luggage, lustrous, madcap, majestic, marketable, metamorphize, mimic, monumental, moonbeam, mountaineer, negotiate, noiseless, obscene, obsequiously, ode, olympian, outbreak, panders, pedant, premeditated, puking, radiance, rant, remorseless, savagery, scuffle, secure, skim milk, submerge, summit, swagger, torture, tranquil, undress, unreal, varied, vaulting, worthless, and zany, along with well over 1,600 other words?

In fact, Shakespeare used only 17,677 different words in all his plays, and he invented 10% of those! His influence on the English language is so huge that whenever you say all that glitters isn’t gold, barefaced, be all and end all, break the ice, breathe one’s last, brevity is the soul of wit, catch a cold, clothes make the man, disgraceful conduct, dog will have his day, eat out of house and home, elbowroom, fair play, fancy-free, flaming youth, foregone conclusion, frailty, thy name is woman, give the devil his due, green eyed monster, heart of gold, heartsick, hot-blooded, housekeeping, it smells to heaven, it’s Greek to me, lackluster, leapfrog, live long day, long-haired, method in his madness, mind’s eye, ministering angel, more sinned against than sinning, naked truth, neither a borrower nor a lender be, one fell swoop, pitched battle, primrose path, strange bedfellows, the course of true love never did run smooth, the lady doth protest too much, the milk of human kindness, to thine own self be true, too much of a good thing, towering passion, wear one’s heart on one’s sleeve, or witching time of the night, you are quoting Shakespeare.

And that’s not even close to the be-all and end-all of it (again, a Shakespeare quote).