Each year when October gusts against the windowpane The boy balances on the bridge Alone He is waiting for something to change but it never does, the cycle just keeps repeating. But he doesn’t Want to go home. Because home is where his mother drinks and his father lies to save himself. Most of the time they don’t care if he’s even there. And so each year when fall breathes a new life into dead leaves the boy balances on the bridge contemplating one thought Jump He wonders if he did just impulsively jump if they’d care, or care enough to look sad at a funeral which wouldn’t even be black tie. And he thinks along the lines of memoirs and what he wants written on his hedge stone. He imagines it will go like this – Beloved Boy, if only he could fly And that seems bitterly ironic because in dreams he flies past the second star to the right and straight on till morning and pirates are his only worry. And each year the boy turns around, trudging back home, but taking a little longer, not wanting to leave the relative quiet of the road. Home is always too loud, yelling and screaming all the time. The boy wonders were they ever happy, because that would mean something. But he knows he’ll come back, back to the bridge. It’s ritual now. Sort of like the meaning of life that way. Although the movements are all mechanic. And years later he’ll have to remind himself why he came to the bridge in the first place.
Fraser: Stop stealing the blanket. [Diefenbaker whines] Fraser: You're an Arctic Wolf, for God's sake. (Due South)
Hatter: Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress? (Alice)
If you ask me, writing a story within a poem is a rather intricate task. However, I think this is an exceptional poem to have been narrative.
Except these two lines confuse me:
He is waiting for something to change but it never does, the cycle just keeps repeating.
I personally enjoyed this, especially the way you wrote it, the format and all. Some sentences that confused me:
"He wonders if he did just impulsively jump if they’d
care, or care enough to look sad at a funeral
which wouldn’t even be black tie."
Black tie...?
"The boy wonders were
they ever happy"
Quote marks, perhaps?
"But he knows he’ll come back, back to the bridge."
This was clear, but you were talking about "home" at first, so when I first read this line, I thought, he's not returning home? Then you clarified it, afterward. Still, you should probably do something to make it so it is clear the first time read.
Great concept. You told it in a very clear tone, and the style was so simple which made it easy to read and the message apparent and powerful. Last line could have been more powerful, but overall it was great.
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